Mind, it is our best work that He wants, not the dregs of our exhaustion. I think He must prefer quality to quantity. George MacDonald
As much as my heart wants to “be just like Jesus” in His restful spirit, there was today a part of me that, as I thought of this, said something akin to, “well, I have to mother small children all day” and just as the thought escaped my foolish heart I was immediately convicted and covered my filthy mouth! The scripture is replete with Jesus being practically chased down by multitudes of people wherever He went, all seeking something or another from Him at all times and not always with the purest motives. Time and again, He was “moved with compassion” towards them, ministering to them, healing them, teaching them. Me? I find myself moved more with “exhaustion” and just trying to get them all (“all” whopping six of them, certainly not a multitude!) under their own evening covers so that I can have some quiet (*ahem* time to do what I want to do). This momma, as another writer so aptly put it, turns into a pumpkin after nine o’clock and compassion is far removed from another story, a drink of water, another potty time and questions regarding what is for breakfast the following morning.
Well, I’m a bit tired of pumpkin and once again I questioned, “what am I REALLY supposed to be doing all day, Lord?” So out came my college-ruled notebook paper and my Bible. Lists. Hmmm, merchant ships, gathering food…..check……. Scheduling. Planning. Layers of multitasking extraordinaire. And yet, unsatisfying. I felt tired just looking at it all. If I can’t be just like Jesus, can’t I at least be more like Mary? Somehow I don’t think the woman kept lists.
The one needful thing, however, alas! Time with God, alone. I mean, really alone. Jesus would meet with His Father alone to pray and talk, especially after giving out all that compassion. Me? I pray while I’m nursing (with baby), while I’m driving (in traffic), while I’m gardening (weeding), while….
It just makes me wonder. I wonder if I would be so tired at the end of the day if I were not so *good* at multitasking. If I didn’t have to do handwork while watching a movie. If I didn’t have to return phone calls while cooking. If I didn’t have to read a book while nursing. Certainly I get much *done* but at what cost?
I’m not sure if I’m even capable of wholeheartedly concentrating on one thing at a time. I’m not even certain that slowing down and doing less would relieve me of weariness at the end of the day. But I think I’d like to begin with Deuteronomy 6:5 And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. I think, perhaps, if the Lord is gracious to renew my strength for another day, I may leave the lists behind closed closet doors and begin with offering my Lord the gift, nay the very least of what I may give: my complete attention.
Because I spent the strength Thou gavest me
In struggle which Thou never didst ordain,
And have but dregs of life to offer Thee-
O Lord, I do repent.