There are women everywhere who are always picking at their husbands (and unfortunately one of them stares at me at times in the looking glass). I find it repulsive. From the media to the grocery store to the lawn at home. Nag nag nag, pick pick pick. Some wives are so well versed in it they don’t even realize they’re doing it. And sometimes it’s done just so creatively and softly that only the wife is aware that she did it again to get what she wanted!
And what I find to be a true-ism is this: as much as this behavior is atrocious, these women are flat out unhappy. They’re so worried about being control freaks that they can’t relax and just snuggle with their husbands without making sure he’s removed his shoes at the door first.
So my friend and I are helping one another to be better wives, through prayer and accountability. It’s pretty plain speech at times, but that’s what real friends do.
Proverbs 27:6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
Proverbs 27:17 Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.
I’ll give you a peek into our conversation, and you can glean from it whatever you need at this time, knowing that “No, it wasn’t about you”. And yet….could it be? Warning: the following may turn you green if you are still tied up in feminism…..
Does your husband know today of your full support? Does he know that you are his biggest cheerleader, that no one respects him more than you? That if the dishwasher broke you’d hang in there waiting for months until he could get it fixed..with a cheerful attitude (oh wait, that’s me over here 🙂
Are you organizing your time to have a good healthy meal for your family ready? Are you making the foods that he enjoys?
Does your husband know how excited you are to be going on the upcoming vacation with him and how much you appreciate all the time, effort, and money he is putting out to make it happen?
Are you training your children to have the home cleaned up before their daddy gets home? Their faces can be wiped and your hair brushed, too.
We can do all things through Christ. Yes, we have the time, and yes, we know what we need to do. Discipline your mind and your actions to follow Jesus and your emotions WILL follow suit and grow you in JOY. Don’t let anyone give you reason to consider you the “poor wife” and don’t keep score. Remember how much God has forgiven you and forgive your husband 7 times 70 times.
These are some things to consider and ponder and be sober about. Not that what we *do* or *don’t do* gives excuse for our husband’s behavior, but that we are faithful to what God has called us to. We can’t help change or actually change our husbands, but God does work through our obedience to Him, especially when it all seems pointless.
I know we know this one (emphasis mine):
1 Peter 3:1-4 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
Our conversation needs to be
Free from obscenity, In language, pure; genuine; uncorrupt; free from barbarous words and phrases, and from quaint, affected, extravagant expressions.
(2) coupled with fear:
Reverence; respect; due regard.
If we can’t talk with our husbands with those two things in mind, then God’s promise is about null and void because of that “IF”. And yes, eyebrows *talk*.
We ought to be pleading with God for that meek and quiet spirit, too. It is the meek that will inherit the earth, and a spirit of “when is it my turn” will just lead to further discouragement and fertilizer for the roots of bitterness. It is not easy; it is a SACRIFICE and that is why it costs a “price”. It is a sacrifice unto the Lord when we hold our tongue, respect our husbands, give him room to fail, and just acknowledge that yes, failed expectations ARE a loss for us.
It is only with GOD that the impossible is possible, to continue to serve cheerfully, to love selflessly and to hope continually. You are NOT a failure, my friend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! God has already set your work before you AND gone ahead of you. HE is GOD and HE will fill you up. HE will speak to you and listen to you and HE will work through you and in you through all of this. He is working on YOU, and you WANT what He’s forming (though you may think you don’t right now ha).
It’s a new day, friends. As we speak with our husbands, will we put away what does not edify (like nagging) and put on what does (like lovingkindness?)
Dust off the wedding pictures and remember why you married him. And then give him reason to thank God he married you. It is a good and proper challenge for me, as well, and it is worth it.
Mark 14:8 She hath done what she could…