Within a span of two days, I’ve been told that two women I know have picked up and left their homes and husbands for other men (who also left their wives), moving out of both state and mind. One was an acquaintance whom I considered a happy, enthusiastic, Christ-loving woman; she had also shared her testimony to a small gathering I was a part of. The other was a beautiful woman who I spent years laughing with and witnessing to. Both are gone.
It’s hard to know how to feel. Surprise. Anger. Sadness. Part of me understands, the part of me that gets prideful enough to feel I deserve better than I’m getting, the part of me that downsizes the overwhelming grace I’ve received from the Lord and upsizes the sin in my heart. No marriage is perfect, and I suppose that is the point.
That longing for love, acceptance, gentleness, protection? It is legitimate, I think, having a heart created by God to seek and to know Him. Our husbands sometimes fail in their husband-ing, but are we so blinded that we cannot see how we fail as wives as well?
It seems foolishness to expect two sinners to stay the course, to stay married. But God loves to take what seems foolish and turn it into something beautiful to behold, whether we see that in this life or the next. As Christian women, we have everything we need, including LOVE, from our heavenly Father. We have His Word to read and to feed our souls. We have His Holy Spirit to cheer our hearts and to guide us. He knows our almost covetous longings and our shortcomings, and yet He still meets us and gives us grace upon grace. Is His arm too short to bless us as we stay in our marriages, trusting Him to do His work in it?
I wasn’t there to see the fights or how awful things got in these homes. I don’t know if there was any abuse or infidelity on the husband’s part. All I see is the fall out. One of the husbands was encouraged by the church to leave. The other lost his house, saw his business plummet, and then died within the year in a horrific car accident. Both households have grown children who will never be the same.
It is sobering. Walk wisely, wives, examining yourselves in truth and forsaking those little stirrings of things that could be so much better “if”. Repent of your own sins, taking them to God, before they give birth to action, and above all, recognize that, like you, your husband is just trying to find his own way in his marriage. Love and grace cover a multitude of sins, and starting in our own homes is the place to begin.
May the Lord bless you,