Two Ponderings For the New Year

December 30, 2011 · 13 comments

Our home in the woods in last winter’s snow

I was struck by the title of a chapter I was reading in Parenting by the Spirit (an excellent little book, by the way).  It was “Does your schedule match your priorities?”  This probably gained my attention because I ponder this sort of thing quite a bit, and what I dislike probably more than anything else is the act or the idea of living life in the shallows.  Does my life match my priorities?  I don’t know. I think so, most of the time, for the areas that are truly in my control.  But my confidence wanes enough to cause me to question it, all the same.

Here are my latest ponderings.  Feel free to leave me a comment and help me unwrap them more.  Or please share your own new year ponderings!

1.  To keep blogging, or not to keep blogging…

I kept a far more active blog years ago that I quit, and now it’s been a couple more years on this one.  And I feel like I’m floundering these days on it, like either I have nothing else to say, or hunger more for real relationships with people that I can actually call by name.  Even now, I wonder, who am I writing to?  Are they even reading this? Or are they (dread) just *skimming* though, ready to click-click-click onto other blog posts, other websites, other places?  How does this fit with my own “priority” of real, deep and honest relationships?

And then I think, well, I blog because I love to write (which I do), and I want to encourage other moms in building their own happy homes.  But, really?  If I write a post on, say, “does your schedule match your priorities?”…. is it really making a difference in anyone’s life?  Does my reader actually think “hmm?” and ponder and come to peace with those ponderings?  Or is the noise of simultaneous media texts and  status updates distracting?  I so want to be a blessing, and not one more voice that is potentially fodder for distraction and the neglect of the better things.  Is that even possible?

What I really long to do is reach over, close up the laptops (yours and mine), and talk over coffee cake and a cup of tea.  What’s the Lord been teaching you lately?  How are your children doing?  Is your life joy-filled?  Do you need to forgive anyone?  How can I pray for you?  What are you making for supper tonight?  How is your marriage?  What are you reading?  What do you dream about? Tell me your testimony of God’s grace, because I love to hear the story again and again from my brethren…

I’m not sure how to cultivate *that* kind of relationship over a computer, no matter how many followers, friends, or fans the site or statistics says I have.  Then again, maybe the point of it all is not to cultivate relationships at all, but just a place to showcase *me*.  Which seems sort of like a limp wet rag in my mind; I am more than my avatar.

2.  To go to school, or not…

It took me 13 years to get my BS and MS in Holistic Nutrition.  I just picked at it while baring and raising six children, and eventually received two more degrees than the one I earned in college.  Now what?  I think I want to learn more about becoming a community herbalist, and do more schooling towards that end.  I love learning!  And of course, because I’m pregnant (again), doesn’t that mean more schooling (again)?  I guess I am just wondering how and when (and if) all of that schooling is going to combine into something I can use to either bless other people with or to help provide more income for my family (or both).  Or is it just enough to use all of that information for my own small circle of family and friends?

So what I’m really pondering is:   how I’m going to get to really know and help women slow down their crazy lives enough to smell the roses while cultivating my writing habits while offering my love of good food and herbs for vibrant health while sharing my love of drawing and stitching while always pointing those women to the Prince of Peace where they can find what the whole purpose of our short, vapor lives is really about to begin with.

Ok, there are the threads.  Let’s see how they weave.

Blessings for a spirit-led, fruit-filled, new year to you all,