I currently have 34 tabs open on my browser(s) of things to read and deal with and a hundred and some-odd emails that are *not* junk but awaiting my attention. I belong to six online groups that are important to me. And I have several different classes I’m taking at once that all involve at least some online interaction. Does that sound at all familiar to you?
It’s neverending, it seems, this play between the ether-world and Reality that pokes into it with meals and laundry and real people with real eyes to talk with. It’s a tension that I am sure I am going to lose someday, the other end slipping through my hands by choice or by fate. Perhaps I am not good at living in two different worlds at the same time.
Right now the children are cleaning up the kitchen, singing funny songs and laughing. The dogs are barking outside at whatever varmint is daring to stick its nose across our property line. And I’m supposed to be finishing up an exam but I’m thinking of my blog and my readers and how both have changed over the years. I’ve changed, too.
Sometimes I wonder if I could live without a computer, without email, without the internet. It’s ridiculous, of course…and then I wonder why it’s so ridiculous. But I am still young enough to remember those days! I do wonder what I naively traded, and what I am still trading. And I’m wondering if, ahead of time, if someone told me that I would be able to write a blog and have a beautiful readership (is that a word?), download and tweak and share photos, message anyone in real-time (et cetera, et cetera…), if I would have gladly traded whatever was in my life then for those abilities and opportunities today.
I’m sure there is a cost to participate in this other world. I’m just befuddled about what it really is and if it comes in multiples. I wonder if the blessings are big enough for me (yes, that’s how shallow I am). And I’m sure there is someone out there with wisdom to share, but somehow I think she is quietly working on her handwork or reading a book or tending her roses, at peace with herself and her life. I just wish she would write to me.