Growing is Messy

July 26, 2013 · 2 comments

I’ve been going through half a dozen large boxes full of papers and schoolwork (yes, even from kindergarten!).  Mostly I can’t believe I’ve kept all of this stuff, hauling it from here and there, hither and yon.  The weight of it all is heavy (on multiple levels), and I do wonder why I kept certain things, like notes passed from peers that were incredibly mean.   There I was, working on pre-Algebra problems, and notes would slip my way saying ugly and crass things.  And, I somehow thought those were worth keeping.  Maybe I deserved them or something.  Maybe they were mirrors.


But all of it has headed to the garbage and I am relieved.  I am not the picture others painted.  And I’m learning while going through the messes of past history that I’m not even the picture I thought I was, either.  What I see as an adult now was a sweet little girl, writing such tender things of rainbows, friends, flowers, dances, and horses.  I see her hunger to be loved, to be cherished.  I see her withdrawing in her teen years, cynical that it would ever come.  Mentally I give her the warmest embrace, and remind her of God’s grace.


I have two more boxes to go.  They are full of journals.  I can’t decide whether to read them before shredding, to revisit or remember.  Either way, I am sure that once I’m on the other side, I will be stronger.


Here is a little art-ing I did not too long ago.  At this stage I feel like the buds, still compact but warming in the Son, loosening.  This turned out a little too messy for me, but that’s all right.  Growing usually is.









{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Kim July 31, 2013 at 6:27 pm

Oh, what a beautiful page. I just found scriptural art journaling and I think it is just a beautiful way to remember God’s promises and His blessings. I would love to have your talent and be able to make myself a journal,…….one day! I hope you don’t shred them! But I also know that we can’t keep everything. :)
By Grace Alone,
Kim Eversman

I really glean from your Podcasts and I look forward to each new one.


kerimae July 31, 2013 at 10:47 pm

Thank you, Kim :) And you *can* make yourself a journal; it would be from beautiful you!


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