Sometimes it’s hard to know how to live in this world. On one hand, I have a sweet blog post readied with pictures of how I am reorganizing my tiny house for our large family. Eighteen months later, and I’ve lost count how many times I’ve moved stuff around…I figured it was time for an update regarding what I’ve learned and how we’re doing.
The evil that awaits me as I open the laptop is pervasive. I caught the news about a mother murdered for nursing her infant and suddenly I could hardly breathe. On the homefront, it isn’t much different. We’re ripping out children from the womb by the thousands every day, and the best the murderers can come up with are arguments like you’re making “fetuses” look like real babies. Which, of course, is what those precious beings are: babies. Babies who already LOVE and are ATTACHED to their mommies. In the safest place God created for them to be. Do you not cry over the blood poured out every day? What if it were running red in our streets? Would we care, then? Did anyone care about this mother killed in broad daylight, I presume, on a street?
The anguish is this: the blindness, the blindness. The hardened hearts, the seared consciences, the shrugged shoulders. The bafflement of Christians under fire for their “hatred” while laying down their own lives for the very folks bent on keeping children from life. Truth doesn’t matter; what matters are emotions, feelings, and the idols that are reigning. We no longer say, “Thus sayeth the Lord…” or “The Bible says…” but rather, “Well….what *I* think is this…” or, more intelligently, “You’re just stupid.”
How do I go on with my day? How do I embrace my family, how do I enjoy the simplicity of baking a homecooked meal, much less the privilege and safety of eating with them? What am I supposed to do with the knowledge that my daughters will inevitably be forced to sign up for the draft (and I’m not happy about that for my sons, by the way). We can’t even care for God’s creation anymore without someone wanting to, I dunno, kill off all of our sheep…just because…
The answer is I Don’t Know. But I am continually reminded and comforted by the fact that the Lord God hears the cry, He knows it is great, and the grievousness of sin in the world felt within my own heart is but an infinitesimal speck compared to the enormity of such things against such a Holy God. He weeps, so I can, too. And I can continue to trust and trust and trust that He will right all things.
I tremble for the wicked, for their day is coming, and no one serious in the faith can deny we are near. We walk with heaviness mixed with holiness, and we must continue to work and pray. In all of our goal setting and hopes for the new year, let us not forget that one of our main tasks is to watch and pray. God forbid we go blind, too.