I awoke softly this morning, the rolling pings of raindrops dancing on the gutters. Baby was in her little crib nest, her breathing soft and sure, and I heard my husband quietly close and lock the back door. What a mercy to have another morning.
Falling rain usually lulls the children into sleeping in, and so they did. I had about an hour alone. The only sound in the house was the dehydrator, finishing off a batch of soaked walnuts. I imagined crumbled walnuts on my oatmeal upcoming.
It’s funny what happens during a “net nap”, a time of purposeful abstaining from blogging or whatever it is that is a constant draw via the media. For me, perhaps sadly, it is the pondering if anyone missed me. Does what I say matter? Does it touch anyone’s life? I know this is a common sense of loss when unplugging. One of the letters I received highlighted her effort to pull back from Facebook: “Will anyone notice that I’m gone?”
I don’t know why it matters but I guess it just does. Our unique selves have a unique print to make upon the world, hopefully something beautiful and honoring to the Lord. But you know how it is. We long to paint…instead, we Pinterest. We want to bake a sourdough baguette…instead, we watch the Food Network. We want to write a poem…instead, we read Facebook memes. We long to be known, connected…instead, we avoid real people in real time.
“Instead” robs us of our creativity and humanity, and then robs everyone else of our particular handiwork.
So, I’m pondering, pondering this morning as I watch the drops of rain splat onto the little pond. The Lord showed me my disappointment when comments weren’t left (where did everyone go?) and then revealed that a website update broke that feature (oh). So even if I think, no one cares, it doesn’t matter if I write. It isn’t true. It does matter.
It does matter if you create something, bake something, take the time to be with someone or even take a walk amongst trees with your ears free of wires. It matters if you practice your craft, even if the Lord alone is your witness (and…hello…He’s God…). It matters because you are a whole human being with gifts to cultivate and if they are constantly being discouraged or distracted by Instagram or Blogger or TV, you will get to the end of your life full of everything you consumed, but starved in spirit and still hungry.
Do you need a net nap? What would you cultivate in its place? What lessons might you learn?