Our cherry and apple trees are in full flower, and the plum, pear, and peach trees are also not looking too shabby. It all smells like spring. Delightful.
Want Happy Kids?
“I just want my kids to be happy.”
Proverbs 28:14 Happy is the man that feareth alway: but he that hardeneth his heart shall fall into mischief.
Making our children happy is long sought over in the quest of parenting. The choices we make in food, fun and clothing, the discipline issues that are (or aren’t) dealt with and the techniques used thereby, and the visions in our heads of our grown, adult children usually revolve around this hope of creating happy people.
Happiness, however, in the Biblical sense of things does not have anything to do with molding adults who are healthy or well-educated or even wealthy for that matter. Children that end up with college degrees, climbing careers or McMansions on cul-de-sacs are in no wise guaranteed happiness by those things; just look around at the disengaged, angry and whiny adults around you!
Do we really want our children happy? Then methinks our focus will be on different goals and different means to those ends. Perusing the Bible finds happiness coming from:
- becoming more and more like the Lord, saved by Him and looking unto Him for help (Deut 33:29)
- a hunger for the God’s wisdom above any man-centered wisdom, which of course seems as foolishness to unrepentant people (2 Chron 9:7, Pro 3:13, Pro 3:18, 1 Cor 2:14, 1 Cor 3:19)
- a thankfulness for the trials God allows, and for God’s corrections and chastisements (Job 5:17, Ps 94:12, 1 Thes 5:18, Rev 3:19).
- allowing the Lord to build our families, understanding that the baring of children is a blessing, not a burden (Ps 127:5)
- learning to work, and to work hard (Lam 3:27, Ps 128:2). This involves creating an appetite for work and for the satisfaction that comes from a job well done. Happiness does not come from “letting kids be kids” and doing all chores around the home while their eyes and minds are quietly imbibing movie or gaming videos.
- belonging to God, trusting Him, and acknowledging Him as LORD (Ps 144:15, Pro 16:20). This means more than raising a child who simply “believes in God” as the somewhat 92% plus of adults in our country say….but do not heed.
- relying on God for help, putting hope in HIM, not in our circumstances or dreams (Ps 146:5)
- fostering a merciful attitude toward the downtrodden, the weak, the elderly, the poor (Pro 14:21)
- growing in holiness, loving God’s law and hating (yes, hating) sin as defined by God (Ps 101:3, Ps 119:128, Pro 29:18).
- maintaining a clear conscience before God (Rom 14:22)
- enduring in the faith through trial, pain and suffering (James 5:11), through the light afflictions of scorn and even the heavier weight of the terror of persecution (1 Peter 3:14), knowing that even in receiving reproach for the name of Christ, God is glorified (1 Peter 4:14)
The way I see it, much of what we think ought to be done with our children have nothing to do with these goals. If we are truly honest with wanting happiness for our children, then we must schedule and direct our days to reflect God’s goals and to seek after what HE says brings happiness.
What does this look like? Repenting of your sins first of all, and receiving Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. Then, spending ample time in God’s Word (no Bible, no breakfast; no read, no feed), reading about and supporting missionaries, seeking ways to serve others, learning to pray and to use a concordance to study the Bible (and then actually doing it), building a family with children, and teaching the young ones to work. It means that when trials and hard things arise, God’s throne is the very first place to we run to. These are the appetites we must foster in our children if happiness is truly one of our goals.
May you be blessed as you seek real, abiding happiness for your children, serving the Lord in His ways as you seek to become more like Him.
John 13:17 If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them.
The Chains that Bind
Beware of who you lament your workout (or lack thereof) woes to. Two friends of mine ganged up on me encouraged me to start working out again after I explained whined about my body feeling rather weak, even though I was walking/jogging on my treadmill.
“It’s only twenty minutes!” said one.
“You’ll feel so great!” said the other.
So I bit and bought the video and after the first oh-so-notverylong workout found myself the next day about unable to move at all. Serves me right; after finishing up that same workout I recall thinking, “Now….that wasn’t so bad….”
Thankfully I have two friends (nah….they’re *buddies*!) doing this crazy every-or-mostly-everyday workout with me. Each of us has a paper chain of 30, with the expectation that we will each off the 30 days before Mother’s Day. You know, so we can all be “hot mamas” heh heh.
So far I am a week in and ready to move to level 2 (woo hoo!). I’ve had to do this in the morning because once the goats and poultry and dogs and children are up and needing to be fed, my own quiet time is o-v-e-r. I wish I could say my six-children-tummy is tightening up but even I have no hope of that ever happening. In fact, I’ve gained two pounds! Yeah, yeah, muscle schmuscle.
I guess if I ate more of this instead of leftover scraps of baklava, that would help matters.
And this is the video we’re using, and yes, it really only does take 20 minutes to work out all parts of my body. That’s a good thing, because I for one do not have much more time than that to devote to just working out. Once I figured out the routine, I cut the sound and began listening to my favorite podcasts. That sure made the time go faster!
It does feel good to take care of my body. All of you moms out there that just workout and love it and are so diligent, you inspire me. I’d rather stay in bed! I just have to remind myself of my goals every morning while I lace up my shoes in the quiet hours before the house awakens. And remember never to complain about things to friends who are eager to cut off the whining.
Silhouette Quilt
I finished a small wall hanging of my children’s silhouettes. It wasn’t hard to do at all. A friend of mine took each child’s photo, side view, against a sunny window. Then she played with photoshop to produce an image that was simply a dark gray silhouette. I have no idea how to play with photoshop, so if I had to do this on my own, I think I would have just *winged it* with the color image.
Anyhow, then I traced the image onto freezer paper, ironed it onto black fabric, and then cut the silhouette out. I ironed the black fabric (now shaped like my child) onto the background. Some borders were added and then the whole thing was quilted and bound.
I love looking at it. They won’t be this little for long, so I’m glad to have this time captured. My husband, however, looks at it and it bugs him. He’s a chiropractor and says, “Hmm…so-n-so really needs an adjustment.” Funny guy. I’m used to that sort of thing, however, because he picks out the same such when he sees people walking.
Another option is to put a child’s silhouette into a picture frame. There are a lot of different things you could do, but don’t wait. Those chubby cheeks thin out before you’re ready.
My 2 Cents on the TTUAC Headlines
I can’t sleep. This has been on my mind for a while now and I felt compelled to respond to the horrific events that have come about from the needless death of not one, but two, children. I feel just sick. Here is the letter I wrote and sent tonight via email. I thought it proper for me to write to you, also….
Good evening, friends,
I have been in real angst over the death of a child recently from a parent who claimed to follow the To Train Up a Child book. This book was a real help to me in helping me learn to parent my children and because of that, I have bought multiple copies and I believe I gave one to you. This review was the most humble and gracious one I have read regarding the incident(s) and put into words my current thinking about this book, and that is why I am forwarding it to you for your consideration. http://www.tina.thejobes.com/2010/03/to-train-up-a-child-book-review/
PLEASE know that it is IMPOSSIBLE to be 100% consistent in just about anything, especially child training. We’re just mommies trying to find our way in parenting children that change from one year to the next (or one minute to the next) and the most important thing we can do during that is to LISTEN TO THE LORD and to READ OUR BIBLES. There *is* NO perfect method/book/author/way to raise up children that is fail-proof. We all need the tender mercies of the Lord to direct our paths each and every single day. Mommying ought to be and I believe CAN be a joy-filled endeavor, but trials ARE going to be a part of the journey and there WILL be tears to go along with it at times (or is that just me?;)
Friend, just know I love you and know you are doing the best that you can. Please don’t ever hold up any standard higher than what Jesus reveals to you through His Word. He WILL guide you and teach you and love you and…yes, discipline you. We all need that. Stay in the Word, stay in prayer, stay in fellowship with the saints. Repent where needed and forgive 70 times 7. Know that God Himself gave you your children not just for their own good, but for yours as well.
I do pray for these precious families, including the Pearls. What a heartbreak, all around.
With love
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