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If There’s an Empty Barn, Rejoice

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Habakkuk 3:17-18   Although the fig tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines; the labour of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stalls: Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will joy in the God of my salvation. 

 

The last of our goats left last weekend.

Kinder goats

 

They went to a lovely home,

one where I may be able to regain some dairy goats someday.

If.

goats2

 

It’s awfully quiet around here though.  No hooves on the feeders.

No maa-aaa’s in the morning.  Or milk.

goats3

 

 

My second daughter said my dog was whimpering in the barn.

I think he misses his herd.  I need to give him lots of reassurance.

 

maremma dog

 

I rejoice that I had the opportunity to raise and use our dairy goats.  The empty barn stings, but I remain steadfast in my trust in the Lord to lead me to what is next.

Blessings,

Summer Break

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Very much enjoying my August blog break.  It’s given me opportunity to play with my camera more, work on schoolwork, do some other writing, and read a lot of books.  Oh, and sleep 🙂  I hope you’re giving yourself some time through the year to pull back and rest a bit, too.  (Wait, was that a blog post?)

STILLNESS

 

stillness

 

FLORAL

floral

MIDDAY

midday

Blessings,

Photographing an August Break

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I was intrigued by Susanna Conway’s August Break.  Basically, it is an opportunity to take a break from writing and just use pictures for the month of August.  I can’t promise I won’t have anything to say all month, but I thought I’d jump in, try to catch up, and practice with my camera a little.  Enjoy.

 

BREAKFAST

breakfast

 

CIRCLES

circles

YELLOW

yellow

LOVE

love

CLOSE UP

closeup

Blessings,

What to Do While Floundering

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Or not.  This is what *I’ve* been doing.

 

Ever since we tried to sell our house and then took it off the dumpy market, I’ve been turning it all upside down and redecorating, repainting, replanting, re-re-re-thinking about how to make the house I was (and still am, in a sense) ready to walk away from, into my *home* again.   I decluttered multiple van loads to Goodwill and gained hundreds of dollars at garage sales, and started putting things into places that maybe were not “correct” but made me happy:  like putting up piles of folded QUILTS behind the glass cabinets in the KITCHEN because I never really liked all of that china I used maybe four times in the last two decades anyway.  Currently I’m looking for a ladder to hang in the kitchen on the ceiling. Why?  Because I want to hang my herbs from the rungs.  Gone are the thoughts of what looks like “it could sell” and finally settling in are thoughts of  “this is Keri Mae’s nest”.

 

Adding to that, my husband decided we needed a farm-ette break and although I dragged (and cried) a bit, I concurred.  The front garden is going away this fall and the livestock is slowly disappearing ala Craig’s List.  And because of predators we weren’t expecting and no one invited.  As everything goes, though, I can’t help but wonder:  What am I supposed to do now with five whole acres and empty barns?

 

I don’t know.  I guess that’s called floundering, that space in the “I don’t know” world.  What to do?  Have you ever been in that space of just not knowing what/where/how and when?

 

In the meantime, I am staying busy, even while floundering in the land of YoNoSe’.  I am using my recent energies towards furthering my herbal and natural health studies, and am continuing to put together emergency supplies and resources for my family (something I’ve wanted to do for a long time; I thank the Lord we haven’t had a reason to need any of that yet).  We got our will together (which we laugh about, because really, there’s nothing but an old 1995 Civic to pass along…).  I am still writing:  to myself, to friends, to dreams of publishing in the big marketplace of ideas.  I am art-ing, loving mixed media especially, and I’m reading easily thirty-plus books all at once.  Oh, and oh yeah, I’m still raising and homeschooling seven children–that takes some time too 🙂  More:  I’m under the care and supervision of a friend who is making me dress a little nicer with clothes that have no holes and that fit (thank you!), making time for massage, for tea breaks with friends, and inviting more people over to our house.

 

It’s still very active in these parts.  I just feel like my compass has moved and I’m not sure where the boat is going yet.  Maybe I’m floating, not floundering.

 

Anyhow.  Know what I mean?  Yes.

 

This is the rough mural drawing that two friends are going to paint onto my kitchen cabinets.  I wanted a dandelion for multiple reasons.  And why can’t I paint a mural across my kitchen cabinets (that are now green, by the way…)

 

kitchen cabinet mural

 

Here’s a little birthday card I made for a friend.  That was a fun thing to do, drawing and cutting and watercoloring one afternoon.  I hope she likes it.

 

birthday card

 

birthday card inside

 

I recently got a new toy.  The strap I got from Sassy Strap years ago when I was playing with my 35mm Nikon.  But now, oooh, I can join the digital age!

 

Canon 60D camera

 

Of course I don’t really know how to use it yet.  No worries, I have a 13 year old boy that is my personal IT guy.  So here is the first “Yes, I now have a DSLR camera and here is the standard what-I-had-for-breakfast shot.”  Grain-free pumpkin pancakes, sausage, egg omelette, and bulletproof coffee with whip (because everything tastes better with whip).  I loooooove bulletproof coffee; so creamy, so filling, so satisfying.  On the downsize, it sorta ruined coffee shops for me (it all tastes like pretty weak coffee-water to me now) but I guess that’s not too bad a thing on the pocketbook.  And yes indeed, everything tastes better with a Stampington magazine on the side.

 

breakfast

 

I guess, overall, floundering’s not so bad.  I wish I knew the road map, but the walk along the way isn’t so bad, and the opportunities for side roads and new things to experience and see are ever before me.  I’m sad about some of the changes we’re going through, but I’m not going to just sit on my hiney pining for what can’t be right now.  Moving forward, I trust God has already paved the way.

 

cat sleeping

 

Blessings,

How to Build Awareness

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I was talking with some friends yesterday about how our drive for getting things *done* sometimes makes our awareness of needs–and blessings–in front of us sorely lacking.  The problem is that as often as we push past cultivating awareness of our surroundings (and the people in them), that God-given sense of ours becomes dull.  Really, we ought to be sobered when something happens and we say in response and astonishment, “I had no idea….it was out of the blue…”  Most things are probably not in those categories at all.  Usually, there were inklings, if not downright pushes….but we lost our sense of awareness when we disparaged that to either hold up the almighty *check list* or to lose our minds into the ether of too much entertainment or gadgets.  Furthermore, we don’t trust our awareness of things anyway.  It’s not something we can photograph; it’s nebulous.  It’s not even something we can practice or meditate on for five minutes and then move on to our more (we think) rational part of our brain and day.

 

How aware are you?

 

Do you sense when something is awry with your marriage?  Your children?  Your pet dog?  Do you notice when the sparrows return, when the bread is leavened, when that guy at the market makes you feel just a wee bit creepy?

 

I think awareness is important to having a life made out of meaning, not just minutes.

 

Two things have helped me to build awareness in my own life, and continue to do so.  Maybe they would help you, too?

1.  My garden, and living in the woods.  I can sit fascinated by the breeze fluttering the alder leaves, casting shadows and light, sparkling in the sunshine.  I enjoy listening to the variety of birds that return in the spring, trying to name them, to own them in my heart.  Enjoying creation is one way to build awareness.

2.  My camera, sketchbook, and journal.  Trying to frame a photograph, trying to capture the feeling that evokes joy or peace or wonder…it can’t help but cause me to slow down, pay attention.  I find the same is true when I am photographing my kids.  Similarly, writing two or three pages in my journal causes me to dig deeper, to ponder and turn things over in my mind.  Sketching does the same, utilizing other areas of my brain, encouraging me to see differently.

 

So, how about a quick tour around my place?  These are some outside things I’ve noticed lately.  I bet if you grabbed your camera or sketchbook and took a walk around your house, you’d find things to wonder about and grow your sense of awareness too.

 

…around my kitchen garden….

 

 

 

…in the barnyard….

….and in the front pasture, a treehouse is going up…

I feel like I’ve been MIA in my blog lately, but I’m still here and hope to share more with you soon.  I see you, dear faithful (and persistent!) readers, and I miss you, too.

Blessings,

 

It’s Kidding Season (No Joke!)

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Spring is definitely here.  Between the heavy frost and the warm sunny days, the buds beginning to unfurl and the weeds waking with a vengeance, the whole atmosphere around here says, “It’s spring!”  The quietness of winter is gone, too.  The robins are singing, the hummingbirds zipping…and then there’s our dairy goat herd queen, Splat.  If she hears any of us outside, she begins bellowing.  “Foooood!!!  I want some more fooooooooooooooood!”  Yes, we’ve taken to hushing our way out to the kitchen garden if we want to work on schoolwork at the picnic table in peace.

 

We have three girls to milk for our family’s supply, and what comes before that are, of course, the kids.  Two of our does have kidded, and we have one more to go next month.  Tomorrow we’ll be disbudding the babies (the job I hate the very, very most!).  I say “we” in the loosest sense: my husband and son actually do the job and I am VERY thankful for that.

 

Anyhow, here are some photos.  They are tagged with my other blog’s website, so if you’re interested in dairy goats, feel free to check out that site, too!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Enjoy your spring!

A Quilt, Some Kids, and Mice!

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Last night was exciting.  I was so excited in fact that I was downright nauseated by the stress of it all.  Although, my son tossed his cookies last night as well so maybe it was something we ate.  In any case, we got our first two kids of the season and thankfully my friend was able to come over, reach her hand right in (wince) and pull out the backwards baby in less than five minutes!  I tell you what, a midwife I am NOT!  I’ll be posting pictures soon.  And we’ve got two more does to go, too.

 

I finished *something* recently and wanted to share: my baby’s little quilt!  It was super easy and fast but of course it sat on the “project pile” for a good ten months or so before I finished the binding.  But it’s done and out of my to-finish stash and I love the colors:

 

 

Meanwhile, my 11 year old daughter wanted to make something for a bride and her groom as a wedding present.  So, she handmade some little mice, thinking that the little boy in the new marriage would like to play with them:

 

 

Now, I just need to find a couple of good movies to sit by so I can finish this apron that’s been taunting me.  That, or some episodes of I Love Lucy.  I could really use the laughter these days!

 

 

Blessings,

 

Spring Cometh

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Well, “finishing something” sounded like a great idea but alas resistance comes knocking and I am more than eager to open the door and allow it to hinder me.  Although, I suppose I could say that I finished a book (I did), so that would in essence open up the opportunity to start things anew here and there, right?  Ah yes, it’s so easy to relieve ourselves of checklists and deadlines, isn’t it?  Yesterday I picked up a charm pack of Moda’s Noteworthy and am eager to make  something with it for myself.  I couldn’t help myself; it was fabric and the love of writing combined!

 

One thing I want to do more is to get outside to take a regular walk.  Some days I am inside the house all.day.long.  And at the end of those days?  I’m lamenting, I’ve been inside allllll day lonnnnnng!  And the next day I am busy with just one more load of laundry, just a few more minutes to wash the dishes, just a little more reading aloud…..and then the day is gone again!  I want to obey the incessant call to go outside more often though, and with signs of spring to greet and delight my eyes, it shouldn’t be too difficult.  Let’s hope.

 

Want to walk around with me a bit?  Buds are forming on the trees, the witch hazel is in bloom, the garden beds are awaiting seeds.  My goats are near to kidding and the hens are about to be penned up in their chicken tractor again for the season.  The greenhouse is heated now, encouraging seedlings to grow, and daffodils are coming up.  I love the coming scent of spring.  Such a promise of new life!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I bet if you took your own walk, you’d see signs of the new season as well.  And, like me, the twenty minutes or so of fresh air would be a welcome charge to encourage  you in whatever projects you are working on, new ones and all.

 

Blessings,

Busy, Busy, Dreadfully Busy…

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Aren’t we all?

 

I dislike being so busy.  You know, I haven’t worn a watch in at least 15 years, so maybe it’s time to chuck the calendar as well because I can’t seem to just have a week with nothing on it.  Oh, it’s not full of bad things at all, and much of it at least seems necessary.  It’s just that it is…well…FULL.  One recent day I was ill enough to stay home from church service and I spent the entire day doing pretty much nothing but (a) lying in the grass in the glorious sunshine and (b) reading a book from cover to cover while watching honeybees in the clover.  Thank God for sick days.  I need to plan more “NOTHING” days, maybe mark some up in roaring red across a date or two at least.  Otherwise, I’ll just have a need (or want) pop up, take a looksee on the calendar with pen in hand and mumble something like, “Ok, there’s nothing on that day…”

 

Is there really anything wrong with Nothing being the course of a day?

 

This evening could have been full of nothing but I sat down at the computer to work on my Journal project (coming along, thank you for wondering), and instead decided to sigh about being too busy.  I bring it on myself, I know.  I do hope you’re finding time for the doing-nothing parts of your day and week, and that illness won’t be the only entry into it.

 

Oh, and by the way…a friend of mine did up this little video of my place.  I haven’t used a video camera for a long time and am developing an allergy to learning anything techie-new these days (is that part of aging?), so it was really sweet of her to do this for me.  Enjoy the look around!

 

 

Blessings,

 

 

UnDocumented

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I’m sitting here with the laptop on my (where else?) lap, and thinking about all I’ve been doing lately.  What I haven’t been doing is documenting everything.  There’s just something freeing about being able to, say,  take a hike with the kids and not take a camera to share it with others.  I’m finding a difference between being in the moment…and stepping outside of it to see it happening through the lens of a camera.  Furthermore, it’s also freeing not to have to deal with downloading, uploading, editing, blah blah blah blah.  Sure I’m still documenting our lives on film (you know, “film” in the current sense) to some extent, but I have a feeling my annual family photo book is going to be a little thinner this year unless someone else wants to take the photos.  So the photos I’m sharing here are not just the best of the batch, they ARE “the batch”.

 

Interestingly, though, I am drawing a lot more.  So the artist in me wants to create something to remember my life by.  Am I just substituting pencils for pixels?

 

In the same sense, I’m still struggling with keeping up this blog.  I keep wanting to say something like, “it’s not you, it’s me….”  Do you ever have something you love doing at one point just slowly lose steam?  Blogging has been a wonderful outlet and I have made some lovely bloggy friends that I would visit in an instant if I were in their neighborhood, but there have been unintended consequences to keeping a blog too.

 

But…I still love to write.  If you’re one of my pen pals, oy….you’re getting pages from me now of news and rambling (sorry haha).  Am I just substituting ink pens for keyboards? What is it about leaving some sort of documentation of my life?  Is it vanity?  Is it to leave a legacy?  Is it important at all?

 

Welcome to my online documented midlife crisis (smile).

 

What about you?  Are you Facebooking, texting, tweeting, blogging and otherwise sharing your life online?  Or are you living mostly an UnDocumented life?  I don’t know which is the better, but I know my life is always under the loving watching eye of El Roi, the God who Sees Me.  With Him as an audience, it ought to be more than enough in terms of validation.  If no one but Him sees the beautiful flowers you cut for the kitchen, does it count?  Does it matter?

 

If no one but Him sees the victory of cleaning your whole house or of your new smaller size or of just keeping your mouth shut when you didn’t want to, is He alone enough to rejoice with?

 

If no one but Him sees the angry outburst or the falling tear or the frustrations of the day that you are repentant of, is He alone enough to draw comfort and grace from?

 

What would happen if we stopped racing to our computers and smartphones for those needs (for validation? for decompressing? for an outlet? for what?) and began lifting our chins up first to give Him thanks in all things?  I don’t know the answer.  But it might be worth pondering between scrolling through blogs and whatnot.

 

Anyway, would you like to see some photos to catch up?

 

I’ve been harvesting some of my herbs for the year.  This was a mix I made to steep in grapeseed oil for a wintertime facial moisturizer. I decided to use calendula, lavender, borage, rose and lemon balm.  Don’t they look beautiful?  I love all of the color and texture and scent and sight of God’s creation.

I took my baby and 6 and 8 year olds to a small island to meet up with a longtime friend.  We had a lovely time living off grid for the weekend (except for my daughter’s small bout with illness during it), and I had the opportunity to interview another wife and mommy about living without electricity for an upcoming podcast.

  I loved the peace and quiet.  I could almost hear the clouds moving across the sky in rhythm to the salt water lapping the beaches.  

On the home front, we’ve been eating some out of the garden, and as the goat babies have been sold, we’ve been enjoying lots of good, fresh, daily milk.  This was the biggest batch of babies we’ve dealt with and sold, and of course there have been some challenges.  We’re still learning through the process, and that goat husbandry is more an art than a science in a lot of ways, too.  God sure has been giving me a lot of grace in those lessons.

 

Trying to find time and space to practice drawing or painting has been a challenge.   I find it is the same for handwork or anything else in like manner…it is a matter of just finding little bits of time here and there, and knowing that over time, a whole picture (or quilt or whatnot) will get finished.  Eventually.  Like I keep saying, if there’s something you want to do or to learn during the busy time of wiving and mothering, just pick at it in bits.  And little by little, the whole will come.

My husband and I celebrated our 20th anniversary with an overnight in an old ranger’s (non-electrical) cabin.  It was enjoyable just spending time alone and in quietness.  Of course baby was with us, but she was a good girl.

Here we are playing in the cabin.  You gotta love the bald spot in the back of her wee head!  We joke that there is the part that looks like Daddy.

My older daughters put together a tea party for one of their doll’s birthdays.  It was so lovely!  Can you see the dollies had their own tea party to the right?  And yes, that is my herb and vegetable garden in full swing in the background.

 

And here is our new bed!  This quilt is the biggest one I’ve made!  I call it my “summer, strawberry quilt”.  I finished it right before having baby, and it was quilted on a professional machine. I was able to bind it in time for our anniversary.  The bed frame was picked up at Goodwill for $40 and after painting and distressing it, I decided not to use the footboard after all.  But it still looks so nice!  Then I found a bed frame for $2 (yes, two dollars) at the local Rotary garage sale.  I bought a new box spring for $119 at a place going out of business, and suddenly we now have a bed at normal height.  It only took us twenty years to get there.  But I’m not giving up my all cotton with wool wrapped futon for nuthin’.

   

And here are some photos of Ruby just because you know how much I love to share her with you.  She is still non-verbal but finds her own way of communicating (some of which is inappropriate, like hitting).  She is one busy girl!  Children with Down Syndrome are typically either “observers” or “movers”.  Ruby is a MOVER.  We have to have someone watching her at all times, and she now wears an identification bracelet too.  She has lots of playmates and teachers and therapists right in her own home.  She is happy and healthy and a delight, and we are all still learning together.

 

Anyhow, that’s all for now.  Someone took this photo of me working in the garden without my knowledge.  It just reminds me that I don’t have to plan or live a documented life.  I am always under the loving watching eye of my Father, and it is a joy to fellowship with Him in the midst of everyday life.  Actually, I think abiding with Him is the most precious way to live a life, even if no one else is around to see or read or hear of it at all.  Don’t you?

Blessings,

Home is Where the View is Best

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It’s been a crazy month.  Between baby coming and goat kids coming and then nursing one that ended up dying (you can read that story here), it was high time for a road trip and time away.  My days at home were literally like this:  feed the fam, feed the baby, put the baby down, go help a goat give birth, come back in and take care of whatever child needs help…repeat…repeat…repeat.  I’m exhausted.

But we’re home now and we can get back to doing chores like raking up whatever needs raking…

 

…and having some playtime afterwards.  Work and play, work and play.  Some days it feels more like work, but we’re finding some joy in it all.

 

 

I’ve been enjoying drawing some in my art journal.  Please don’t think “what? where did she get time to do that?!”  I will tell you.  It was midnight.  And I drew from a photograph I took.  I know what I’m doing at home is very (very) important, but that night I knew I needed to do something creative for my sanity before I went to bed.  I could live here:

 

 

Eh.  The artwork’s not so bad.  Ten years from now I’ll laugh at it but right now I’m satisfied with what little I can do.

 

 

On our road trip, we drove through the mountains to spend some time with friends at the river.  Oh, I wish I could stay there for a week.  The river is just so amazing, so beautiful, so loud, so demanding in respect.  And the white noise helped to clear out the other noise out of my head.  All of that snow feeds the rivers.

 

 

Afterwards, we drove to the other side of the state.  It was gorgeous; just miles and miles and miles of farmland and the most amazing clouds I’ve ever seen.  I think I just kept repeating myself, “Look at those clouds!”

 

 

Of course, along the way we had to stop in various locations for photo op’s and to record for my husband’s podcast.  He bribed us with ice cream.  We gratefully took him up on it!

 

 

Here is my daughter (and baby…see the wee head?) at the Farm Chicks show.  There were thousands of people there.  Thousands.  I couldn’t keep up.  I was completely overwhelmed, honestly, what with the 250-something vendors.  I gave up trying to find stuff on my list and just hoped to see everything.  Which I did.  But I hardly spent any money at all to take anything home.  Which is a little disappointing after driving six-plus hours just to get there.

 

 

Why didn’t I buy much?  Because everything was outrageously overpriced!  But with the feeding frenzy there was (with those thousands of people), I can see why they priced their goods as they did:  people bought them.  Even though the show was amazing (gorgeous displays, in fact), I can’t ever see going back.  But I’m glad I did it, once.  From now on, I’m sticking to individual stores and shops instead of shows.  This little picture was $45 (and no, I didn’t buy it!).

 

 

We were able to stop by and visit with a chiropractor friend who lives (his own words), in the middle of nowhere.  He has an office in his van and goes around to the different communities to help people with chiropractic care.  It was a really cool set up inside!  And his family was very gracious and fed us some delicious lunch.

 

 

 

 

And of course my husband got a much needed adjustment!

 

 

The way home was just as beautiful, what with these amazing cliffs along the way (Noah’s flood, anyone?).  I sort of shuddered to imagine the chaos of water and judgement that formed these great big landscapes.

 

 

It was kind of a bummer to see all of that amazing wheat growing, knowing it was genetically modified and dwarfed and probably covered in pesticides.  Of course we saw lots of areas where topsoil had eroded too.  But the cliffs were amazing! I took this shot out of the window, racing by.

 

 

We played a license frame game along the way, marking different states we saw on various cars.  If anyone saw a European plate, they were declared the winner supreme.  Well….meet Mr. Winner Supreme.  It was very cool that a free airshow was on right across the street from the antique show.

 

 

And yes, we did have to stop to adjust the dinosaur.  The man was apparently hopeless, but the dinosaur….there was hope for him apparently.

 

 

Eating in restaurants was a challenge with seven children.  We ate mostly in parks with food takeouts but we did get to eat in this very, very family friendly place.  Check out all of the dollar bills all over the walls and ceilings!

 

 

We had plenty of time to play.  This was our favorite park!

 

 

And Ruby loved the carousal!  As long as it was moving, that is.  Once it stopped, tears and gnashing of teeth!  Glad I got one good picture though!

 

 

And yes, I had to find the best bakeries in the city.  And eat cupcakes.  (And yes, that’s me growing my gray hair out again…do you really want me to continue to share that saga with you all?)

 

 

Home we are now and home is best, best, best!  SO glad to be HOME.  SO glad that the goat animals are settled and we’re unpacked and getting some rest.  Despite all of the wonderful landscapes and whatnot *out there*…I think the view from the inside of my house is still pretty good.

 

 

Hope you’re well!

From Six to Fourteen

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Goats that is.

Four days after having my own baby, the first doe had her own.  And in the last three days we added seven more kids (that’s what goat babies are:  kids).  As my husband says, it’s not our own baby keeping us up at night.  It’s the goats!  But I will say how grateful I am that every one of these mamas had their babies during daylight hours.

Dancer gave us a buckling and a doeling.

 

…and then while we waited for her placenta to come out, she surprised us all and pushed out a wee little doeling.  And I do mean “wee”; she was only 1lb 12oz.  She is still getting tubed for feed because she isn’t strong enough to suck on a bottle.  My daughter has become her mama, even waking during the wee hours to keep the little one nourished.  I admit I gave up on this one within the first five minutes of her birth, but a friend of mine diligently worked on her and prayed for her and she is still alive; and now my 14 year old is becoming quite the goatherdess!  I’ve just been teaching her what I know in addition to having her learn from that friend of mine (thank you!), and she is all of the sudden interested in reading books and materials on goats.  I am glad for it.

 

The very next day, Maisey gave us two bucklings.  My daughter here is encouraging one buckling to find the right place to get that good colostrum.

 

 

And then on the third day (today), Smores gave us a buckling and a doeling.

 

 

As an aside (speaking of new births) we’ve been finding bird nests with their own babies tucked in.  These are chickadees on our porch.  The robins have a nest on our playground swing set of all places.  And I don’t have a picture to prove it but we’ve got two dozen chicks and turkeys that showed up during this time as well.

 

 

At the end of it all, this is all I wanted to do.  And I did enjoy it, even if it did take me almost two hours to finally get into it because I was at that point taking care of my own little baby.

 

 

And of course now I am t.i.r.e.d. after three straight days of goat craziness.  And did I mention I have a new three week baby, too?  If it gets a little quiet around here on this site, you’ll know why.

 

Gratefully,

 

Settling Into Spring

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I’m sitting outside on the kitchen porch on a parisian yellow chair watching the breezes ripple their way through the firs and alders. The lavender lilacs are in bloom and their scent wafts by often enough to make me close my eyes and dream of summer. How can I transport to you the sound of the branches and leaves clapping and embracing in the wind? It sounds like waves upon a sandy shore. Birds are twittering by, chattering about the empty feeder (sorry) but finding plenty of flies and bugs to push them to acrobatics. I can also hear the low bleating of my dairy goat, calling to her baby continuously (“Where are you…are you here…stay close…”). I long to wrap these things up and gift them to you. Instead I invite you to walk undistracted to sit outside your own home. Look! Listen! God’s creation is beautiful.

My days have been spent settling in with baby. My children are anxious to introduce her to the world, but I insist on staying in my little part of the world, and bless them to go to church, to potlucks, to wherever. I and baby, we are fine. We are sitting in the garden, rocking in the bedroom, figuring out nursing (oooch), and giving the mama (moi) intoxicated fits of inhaling her sweet baby head. It’s not a bad way to spend a spring.

 

I will share with you Ruby’s response to her baby sister.  This was one of those moments that, yes!, I had a camera within reach!  Here Ruby is signing “baby”.

 

All at once, Ruby reached forward and grabbed up the sleeping baby!

 

 

After she gave her a wholehearted hug, she leapt off the bed, gave a wave and ran off!

 

 

And here she is with her very own baby.

 

 

In the meantime, I’ve started putzing around, doing small chores here and there.  My friends have been feeding us suppers (thank you!), so this has been the extent of my kitchen food prep:

 

 

Four days after baby was born, I watched the first of my milk goats this spring give birth to her own daughter.  I have three more goats this month giving birth, so it is a wonderful time for us (even though I *am* a little nervous until all of them are finished).

 

 

I hope your spring is filled with a beautiful life around your home, too.  There is much to be grateful for.

Blessings,

Post-Due Date Waiting

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Well, here I still am, now six days after my “due date” for baby number seven.  It’s nothing new to me, this waiting for a “late” baby to show up; in fact, baby number five decided to wait a whopping 18 days (and he packed on the pounds to prove it, at 10lb 15oz).  The other part that is not new is the discouragement; it is hard to know the baby is all well and good and is just bidding his (her?) time.  And of course, the phone calls, the surprised looks (“what? you’re still pregnant?!”)….I’m sure many of you have been there!

So this is what I’ve been doing in the meantime, in this period of just waiting.  First of all, I’ve been staying mostly home.  I’m just so swollen and am sooooo terribly waddle-ly and slow; folks think I’m going to drop a baby right there on the floor in front of them.

I make myself go outside at least, and take a walk around the place, noticing what is waning (the daffodils) and what is blooming (the clematis).  Spring is definitely here.  I love having all windows open to the fresh air cleaning out the house, too.

 

 

I did notice that we lost one of our cherry trees, but the rest of the fruit trees are beginning to bloom in beautiful colors.  I do miss my honeybees, though, the ones I used to find all over my orchard and garden.  I think of doing that again, next year.

 

 

My men built a “buck hut” for my male goats, which I appreciated.  I sat on the lawn chair keeping them company while they put it together.  They have designs of putting up signs that say things like “no does allowed”.

 

 

Speaking of goats, there was some excitement yesterday as the goat barn was getting cleaned out.  My husband sunk into some soft mud and almost lost his tractor down a ravine.  The whole left side of the tractor is in mid-air in the picture, being held up by the backhoe and a small alder tree.  Yours truly got to burn rubber on the old 4×4 pickup trying to pull the thing out of the ravine with a chain while husband balanced on the tractor trying to help back it out.  You would have thought *that* sort of fun would have put me into labor!  And yes, I got the tractor out, and yes, it was fun in a crazy sort of way.

 

 

When I have to go inside to put this baby down (oy), I find myself doing this and that.  This morning I was listening to a sermon and following along in my Bible while working on some embroidery.  Magazines and books keep me occupied, too.  Oh, and blogging (smile).

 

 

I was bummed to miss the homeschool conference this weekend, really.  But I spent some time rethinking and reorganizing what I want to do next year anyway.  Next year I’ll be teaching a 1st grader all the way through 9th, plus Ruby (who is almost four) and loving on a new baby too (…who needs to come out, hear me, Baby?)

 

 

And truly, why not start another quilt?  I think this little thing would be so sweet for a baby girl.  If this one is a boy, that will just give me an excuse to create a whole other quilt, so that’s a win-win in my mind.

 

 

Back outside, I’m watching my family do chores around the place.  It’s hard not to feel guilty for being unable to help; they are all keeping the home and land going without me.  They are so excited about this baby; every morning I’ve been having to give them a sheepish grin, “no, no contractions, no baby yet…sorry.”  But they are very lighthearted about it all.  We keep saying, “Well, we’re one day closer!”

 

 

Here is the wonderful work my family finished today; getting the muck cleaned up outside of the barn and replacing it with gravel and rock.  Oh I cannot tell you what a GIFT this was to me (AND my goats).  All four of my “girls” are due to have their own babies next month.

 

 

Sometimes I spend time just sitting in the wooded pasture watching my goats forage.  It’s so incredibly quiet; all I can hear are my children whooping and playing outside, along with the chorus of birds and the munching of my goats moving through the brush.  I have some very sweet goats who will come and snuggle their heads on my lap to say “hello” too.  It’s all very relaxing.  I love the slow life and want more of it.

 

 

This is my herd queen, Splat.  She demands (and gets) respect from the rest of the group.  She was always stand-offish to me until I kept her company last year while she was kidding for the first time.  Now we sort of *understand* one another and she’ll give me some attention, butting others out of the way to get it if need be.  Poor thing is missing fur from her nose because of our feeder rubbing it wrong.  Isn’t she beautiful, though?  I think she’s carrying at least three babies.  I planned to have mine first, but at this point, I guess we’ll see…

 

 

Here’s another trusty chair of mine to use outside.  I was harvesting nettle, and used some to dehydrate, and some to make tea with, mixed with peppermint.  I found a recipe for nettle pasta but lately just the thought of that much kitchen time hasn’t been appealing.  Right now I’ve got quite a bit of frozen pizza in the freezer.

 

 

I did manage to make some sourdough raisin bread for breakfasts, though. They are in the freezer, also.  I’m looking forward to having some toasted, with butter, with scrambled eggs and orange juice, the morning after the birth-day or thereabouts.

 

 

I’ll tell you some things I haven’t done.  I haven’t changed a diaper in a while, or cleaned a dish, or cleaned a bathroom, or swept a floor, or pulled a weed.  My family is taking care of all of that, except the weeding.  In fact, the whole place is overrun with weeds (and of course, what are weeds but pretty flowers growing where you don’t want them?).  I decided to let the whole plot go fallow this spring and summer, and will get it all tackled hopefully this fall.  In the meantime, I’m looking up and finding recipes for dandelion jam and so forth.

 

 

So there it is.  Supper’s coming out of the crockpot right now and tonight I’ll take yet another bath and go to bed again hoping for a wake-up in the wee hours.  If the sun greets me for another day of waiting, you’ll know what I’ll probably be up to.  And yes, it will at least be another day closer…

The Pitfall and Practice of Lent

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Psalms 116:7-9  Return unto thy rest, O my soul; for the LORD hath dealt bountifully with thee.   For thou hast delivered my soul from death, mine eyes from tears, and my feet from falling. 
  
I will walk before the LORD in the land of the living. 


I’ve been slowly and quietly working through the book of Galations.  It is here where Paul sternly rebukes those who are adding works to the gospel, as though the cross and resurrection were not enough in themselves to justify the sinner and remove the wrath of God as far as the east is from the west.  This book needs to be preached even today, as the “to do” list seems to be ever growing if you want to be a “serious” Christian, those whom are concerned about holiness and walking closely with the Lord.  Seems rather silly to me, really, this idea of degrees of proper following.  Also seems to me if a person is truly saved, they ARE serious about serving the Lord, and they already do so to the best of their ability out of gratitude.  Why do we need to impose an expectation or checklist of works?  I touched on this earlier in this post. 


I’m afraid that is one of the pitfalls of Lent or of any other season of self-examination.  We gauge our walk by how far we need to go, how much we’ve left undone, how we fall short of expectations (from, you know, that amalgam of “everybody”).  We make plans for what we’re going to give up, try harder at, conquer.  What we need to do, methinks if you want to *do* anything, is consider the gospel first and foremost:  remembering, refreshing, and returning to the rest that the Lord has already given.   


It doesn’t mean He won’t discipline, stretch, or challenge you to cultivate a more meaningful walk (according to His standards).  It doesn’t mean He won’t press it upon you to learn to pray, or to share the gospel, or to seek restitution with the brother that has something against you.  But these things, these habits, will naturally come forth as you believe on Him.  And believing on Him IS the “work”.  So, again, preach the gospel to yourself first.  And listen.


I thought I’d share with you how I am spending my time before Easter.  I decided to really pull back and unplug a bit.  I’m not tweeting, and I’m keeping my cell phone turned off while at home.  I’m not keeping up on any blogs or websites either.  It’s been…..rather quiet.  All I can do on the computer now is pop it open, delete 7-8 emails, answer a couple, work on a blog post….and then get off of the internet.  It’s almost…boring.  But I am needing boring.  I am needing that a lot right now.


Instead I am using my computer time to write more.  And I am playing with and learning Photoshop (now that takes brain power!).  So, enjoy some newbie Photoshop photos in this post as I share some of my late winter activities.


I continue to putz around the house, rearranging things, decluttering, moving furniture, painting.  I’m sure this will only get worse as I get closer to having the baby (watch out, “nesting instinct”!).  I’m enjoying breaking some “rules”, like the silver we got as a gift that’s supposed to be hand-washed (been throwing them in the dishwasher), polished (haven’t for years) and never, ever used unless the queen of England is having tea.  Forget that.  I even took them out of the drawer and put them on top of my counter, nestled in a handwoven tea towel.  Does this qualify for “shabby chic”?



This is the stack of books and magazines and art supplies that are pulling me into my art journal more.  I am learning how to journal my life with pictures, not just words.  It’s a rather enjoyable practice, one that cannot really be rushed.  And I so don’t want my life to be rushed.

But the reason I am not drawing more than I would like is because I am racing to finish a new quilt before the baby arrives.  It’s not a baby quilt; it’s more like something to accomplish before he or she comes.  Or before I get too big and uncomfortable to sew any longer.  Currently I can manage an hour at a time.  I’ve been listening to sermons or music or to Wretched Radio while in my craft room.

When I can’t manage being upright anymore, I lay down and read books.  I have plenty of free downloads on my Kindle, but even so, I find I enjoy real paper more.  I am reading novels, biographies, books on home organization, Christian books, and plenty of how-to’s.  One book that I am enjoying right now, and rereading a lot, is A Gospel Primer for Christians: Learning to See the Glories of God’s Love.  It’s a wonderful short little book that really helps in cultivating the habit of preaching the gospel every day.  Did I mention how important that was?

If I’m resting and not reading or homeschooling, I am catching up on correspondence.  I love getting and writing real mail.  It’s hard to be snarky or angry or defensive when writing a letter by hand…unlike composing an email (or a tweet!) that gets sent way too fast before the spirit has a chance to subdue the heart.  No, give me a pile of stationery and a fountain pen and some pretty stamps instead.
Outside, we’ve been planning to finish the barn this summer, and to expand the boundaries for our dairy goats.  Buds are already starting to open all over the place.  And I’ve been consulting with a landscaper to see if we can afford to get some professional help around here.  Here’s hoping.

Seeds have been started for the upcoming garden, too.  If all goes well, they will be planted out in the kitchen garden middle of May.

Recently we had a beautiful sunshiny day and I announced to the children that we had to go buy some pansies and violets.  Our wet and green (with moss) back porch was crying out for some color.  So we piled into the van and brought home enough flowers to pretty up the view.

We still collect eggs every morning, and they are a work of wonder, one of the most perfect foods, and so gorgeous to look at, besides.  This, this, makes me feel like a wealthy woman!

I’m not the only one expecting a baby.  Our kinder does are expecting also, and are due to kid in May.  I’ve been thinking about supplies I need to purchase, and how to create a plan for management that will suit our family.

And, yes, I’m still growing!  Seven more weeks (or likely, more!) to go.  That means I also need to get prepared:  checking on what cloth diapers I have, buying some fresh onesies, and sewing up some simple swaddling blankies.  I’m also tincturing herbs and preparing for teas and other things I like to have on hand.  I don’t think I’ll need much more than those things; keeping it all simple.  It’s one of the joys of being an older, experienced mother.

So that is what I am up to these days.  I hope you are enjoying the last of winter as well in your own beautiful life.  Do you see the beauty of your own home and family?  Or do you need to pause as well, and take the time to look?
If you really want a couple of things to *do* for Lent (knowing of course that there is no law to do anything at all), I would encourage you to do two things. 
One, examine yourself and your faith, especially if you consider yourself a Christian.  Too many people call themselves such, but are not.  Examining yourself is, traditionally, the point of Lent.  I know this audio is an hour long.  I know if you’re anything like me, you’d rather just skim everything on the computer, multi-task, and even if you hit “play”,  go check your email while “listening”.  But truly…..this is an eternal matter.  Take the one hour out of your vapor life and pay close attention to examining yourself.  It will be either convicting or reassuring.  And what you do with that matters.

Two, consider unplugging a bit.  Set a limit on computer time, or leave off Facebook until Easter, or turn the phone off during homeschooling, or take a TV fast.  Whatever “unplugging” looks like for you, you might find it a time of refreshment, refocusing, and renewal.  You might find more time to meet with a friend for coffee, one on one. You might even find you have time for a daily walk.  And when you do, maybe you too, will notice that the seed pods have just begun to fall.  And you might, in some way, find a way to return to rest, and to ponder what it means to walk in the land of the living.  The Lord has dealt bountifully with you and me both; that’s reason enough to pause to think on Him a little bit more. Amen?

Blessings,

A Day in My Life, Part 3

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If you missed it, you can catch part one here, and part two here.

Late Afternoon to Evening

I manage to put my feet up and knit two rows for my baby’s blanket, while the children are cleaning up after lunch and finishing their music lessons and artwork.  This is how this blanket is progressing:  two rows at a time.  I am not an accomplished knitter.  I don’t even consider myself a “good” knitter.  I have to completely pay attention to every stitch, and after two rows my mind starts to wander and I’m too inexperienced to zone out and just let my hands work.  But, even with two rows at a time…progress is made.  It is a good reminder to me, how forward motion or any change is accomplished:  by degrees, by steps, by plodding.  Sometimes it just takes two rows at a time.

I give a writing lesson to my friend’s daughter, listening to her read her excellent writing, and then do a dictation.  I help her with her new composition’s outline, and instruct her in some areas.  We use Classical Writing and love the program.  It combines very, very well with Spell to Write and Read and to the foundation we have from Institute for Excellence in Writing.   I count my blessings to have such rich curriculum helps, and I am slowly (“two rows at a time”) finding and repairing the gaps I have in my own education.  
Our friends leave, and we go through the comical routine of what did they leave behind this time? (books, jackets, and even her toddler’s peepee pants!).  We set them all by the mudroom door.  And yes, I plan to launder the pants!
I sit for a bit, catching up on some email and Twitter.  I peruse the book loaned by a friend, Goat Song, and besides sighing over such lovely writing, begin taking notes for what I’ll need when my own goats kid in May and mark items in the Hoegger’s catalog.  Plus the book has given me new words to look up.  Words like flehman response, and kulning.  I catch up on paperwork for the Kinder Goats Breeders Association, and make sure my files are in order, too.
I’m tired at this point, but hunger wins over and I begin to prepare for supper. I cut up the last of my winter squash, an interesting variety of pumpkin, and put it to bake for mash.  I find leftover steaks we cooked up and turn them into steak bites, coating them with flour and seasoning to fry up for our supper.  I ponder making gravy.  Salad is prepared, and I glance at the clock.  It is close to 6:00 already, and I invite the music teacher to stay for supper, not knowing how the meal will stretch but trusting God to multiply it all.  I leave everything ready to quickly assemble while music lessons finish up, lie down to read a book to my 7 year old, and finally give in to a twenty minute cat nap.
My day ends with supper, and I begin to reset my mind for the ‘morrow.  I eye the starter on the counter and plan to make pizza dough for tomorrow.  I plan my bath (epson salts with lavender) and think about 
projects waiting for me.  Maybe tonight I will get some more cutting for my quilt done.  Or maybe I will read through the Shabby Chic library book to help me prepare for my big flea market trip in June. Or maybe I’ll just look through my new Mollie Makes magazine, or begin putting words to my day for a blogpost.  I’ll check in and tweet with my friends a bit, and finally, Lord willing (and kids don’t start throwing up or an earthquake doesn’t occur or….) I’ll begin my fresh new day with a good night’s sleep.

It’s a blessed life I have, and I’m thankful.

A Day in My Life, Part 2

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If you missed it, you can read Part 1 here.
Midday

I join my 5 and 7 year olds to help them with folding the small mountain of kitchen linens threatening to overtake our sofa.  We use mostly cloth napkins and dish towels rather than paper products, in reds, yellows, greens, and oranges.  Bright colors for all of the wee people here I suppose.

Once the drawers are full of linens, I begin doing some teaching with my 7 year old, and we are still working on proper pencil holding.  I regret not starting her with cursive first, and am thankful she wasn’t further along in ball-n-stick than she was.  Her handwriting is becoming more and more fluid, and the death grip on her pencil is beginning to, finally, relax.  I think those loopy-loo’s that always come so easily to my toddlers should have been an obvious hint to which style of handwriting they are better able to utilize, but I was too smitten with “how the schools do it” rather than really watching and listening to my own children.

I send the boys outside to go pump their legs with cross-country bike riding (it’s all gravel and meadow and plenty of dirt), and to bring in any more eggs they can find in their coat pockets.  I also ask for the starter trays from the greenhouse because I’m moving much slower and figured I could plant seeds a bit at a time on my back porch instead.  But, really, I just needed them to go burn off some energy.
After unloading a few blue and brown eggs, my 5 year old boy clambers red-faced to the kitchen table.  And while he and my daughter are working and chittering with each other, I sit catching up on some reading, picking at curriculum, a magazine, a recipe.  The older kids are either picking at schoolwork or preparing for art lessons, and Ruby is banging away at the play kitchen.  When my little students finish up their math and spelling, I read to them from the Jesus Storybook Bible and the Christian Nature Reader and send them on their way to play.  Ruby runs after them in glee.
Our “maybe we can come” friends show up, and my 14 year old starts an art lesson with the youngest of the children, a collage of a butterfly’s life from egg to flutter.  We’ve been using Atelier for years, and the results are always pleasant.  My smiling friend helps herself to a mug and picks a bag out of the tea drawer, mi case es her casa.  We chat, and unapologetically eat seriously delicious cinnamon rolls with our hot drinks.  And yes, we share those with the children, all twelve of them.  But the bowl of leftover frosting we keep for our own spoons.
The other children in time do art lessons as well, and it is interspersed with either outside play in the sunshine, or music lessons from the teacher that arrives during this time.  The whole house and yard is full of happy eating, painting, music making, outdoor mud splashing, and toddlers vrooming their cars and dolly strollers all over the wide planked wood floors.  Of course there are cries of hurts, bumps to kiss and peepee accidents to deal with, too.  Here is my 9 year old’s painting, one of her most “happy days”:  when she and I flew to California together for a quick family visit.

The sunshine is still beckoning me outside, so my friend and I go for a walk down the long woodsy dirt road.  A half hour later, we return to visit my dairy goats, and I peer into my garden.  The shallots are starting to come up already.  I’ve never grown shallots before.

My goat girls are so sweet, they love to snuggle.  Here are Smores and Dancer.  I had to keep them at arm’s length to get this photo during our snow.  While my friend and I are in the musty barn, we talk about livestock of all kinds, fencing, dreams.  It is comfortable and warm in the stall, and the boys next door bleat for lovings too.  I glove up to pat my buck and also stroke my wether’s growing beard, telling them both yes, they are *so* handsome.

Inside, the large stockpot of chicken soup is hot and as my friend and I correct the seasonings and cut bread slices, the children clean up art supplies and make room for eating.  The clanking of spoons and white porcelain bowls upon the table add to the scuffling of chairs, and all at once, silence.  We all give thanks, and eat.  The broth is completely satisfying, bits of chicken and rice deliciously warm and good for the soul, too.  It is 2:00 in the afternoon.
Blessings,

Late Spring This-n-That

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Here is some catch-up on what’s going around my home and farm-ette. 

Flowers are coming into bloom, including the unusual pink lilic tree; what an intoxicating introduction to spring.  I love wandering to and fro through the garden and smelling nature’s perfume wafting from the newest blooms.  The apple blossoms are finished, and sweet rocket is in full bloom.  The irises out front are in full purple array, and they–believe it or not–really do smell just like root beer!

I added three new kinder goat baby gals to my herd. They’re very sweet and adorable but I’ve had to work hard towards getting them healthy. I don’t know if it was the stress of the move or what, but I am learning as I go how to treat my own goats and keep them in the best shape. It’s not like I went to “goat school” or whatnot. I am very pleased with their progress so far. The little black goat on the left has the silkiest fur coming in and it does feel good to see outward healing.  Isn’t she cute chewing her cud?!

I like this outside wall art and wanted to share it; it’s made from from an old bicycle chain link.  I love this sort of clever repurposing; some folks are just so artistically talented!  I would never think of this!

My girls anxiously awaited the first warm day of the season, and when it arrived, they grabbed all of their doll clothes and washed every one of them by hand on the washboard and hung them up to dry in the garden.  I love the idea of having a clothesline, with sunshine and fresh air infusing themselves into our clothes.  Maybe someday.  And then I’ll know just who (times three!) will get to pin them all up!

Speaking of art in the garden, I love these painted pottery chimes as well.  They sound very mellow.

My husband and I had the “great idea” of raising our own pastured chicken for our family’s food. We felt pretty confident that we could get someone to come take us through the butchering process, but as it worked out, everyone was busy. Let’s just say, “thank God (truly!) for internet and youtube instruction!” Here is my friend who showed up with her six children to help me figure it out. There are friends you can call at three in the morning, and then there are friends you can call on to help you kill and gut your food. This one is both.

Overall, we’re having a good start to the summer season.  Our community has a new boat to the city, and though I’m glad my morning commute is just from my bedroom to the rest of the house, I’m real excited for the difference this boat will make in the lives of our commuters; shorter travel times mean more time for family and that I think is a real blessing.

Enjoy the season!

Sense-Full

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I was thinking today of some beautiful things I am lately filling my senses with.

For one, I’m writing in a journal I bought from this company, Legacy.   The paper feels so nice to the hand, the cover is lovely to the eye, but I must admit the pen was replaced!  I miss writing in my journal.  I don’t mind blogging to y’all but my journal is between me and the Lord.  I write a few pages every morning; it clears my head. Plus I imagine my grand-daughters and great-grand-daughters might take pleasure in my journal books, reading my words.  Or not.  All I know is that I wish I had something such from the women gone on ahead of me.  I hope they will be an encouragement to them.

The little book I’ve been reading is this one:

I have so many books I’m picking at, every one of them nonfiction and meant for learning.  This little one however, with the cover I loved and bought because of it (yes, I can be that sort of book buyer), is such a gem.  A few pages goes well with a cup of tea; it can’t be rushed.  It’s a good mommy heart-to-heart sort of book.  And yes, it’s nonfiction, too.

The vintage little loom I brought home has been warped and I am ready to start weaving!  The warp was a bit of a learning curve, but I didn’t mind it.  It was methodical, threading each bit of warp through the reed and then through the heddle (also known as, “those do-hickies on a loom that hold the thread in tension and in place”).  It’s nice to just sit for a spell and make something that looks and feels nice.  I’m spinning up the rest of the white merino, alpaca, mohair as well.  I plan to dye it with natural plant materials, and then….who knows?!  Maybe I’ll weave a scarf!

The farmer’s markets are back in business and my taste buds are so excited!  It would be a dream to forgo the grocery store completely and just have real, simple food from real farmers eaten in their real seasons grown in my own region.  To that end, I’m planting a garden again.  I don’t know if I’ll ever get the garden of my dreams, but I do know that lettuce picked from my home garden has a monumental advantage in nutrition and taste over salad greens that have been picked who knows when, packed in plastic, and shipped for who knows how long over how many miles.  I dream of a root cellar, a cheese closet, multitude of preserves from my front and back yards.  Maybe someday. 

My ears have been listening to Victoria Botkin’s She Shall Be Called Woman.  I heard her speak recently and I just loved how light and down-to-earth she was.  I wasn’t sure if I would hear anything I didn’t already know (not that I’ve learned it, just that I’ve heard it…sometimes it’s “in one ear, whoops, out the other” y’know?), but she is definitely coming at issues from different directions and it is good thinking fodder.  I did read some real snarky comments regarding her words, and my thought was, “Hmmm…..guess those just prove her point!”  Feminism can be so ugly.  I hate the threads of it that still cling to me.

And smell?  Every morning I am outside wrapped in the smell of a newly mercied fresh morning and I milk the one kinder doe I have in milk and it is something I love.  It reminds me of my Greek grandma, milking her goats to give her grandchildren a little hot cocoa with their breakfast.  I love the sound of the milk hitting the pail, the sight of the thin frothy milk increasing in volume, and sometimes I just rest my forehead up against her side, breathing in all her warm goat-ness while she munches on her grain. 

My God has loved me sense-full, and I am thankful for it all.

Morning at a Happy Home and Farm-ette

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Morning these days is glorious. The air just smells so spring with salty sea air filtering through the woods and daffodils perfuming the air. If I could put a scratch and sniff on all of your computer screens, I would. Want to come join me for a bit this morning?

We’re outside first thing because we have animals to tend to and feed. It’s an efficient dance of filling dog bowls, checking water levels, tending to poultry, and hushing up the mewing kitty. Rabbits and goats need hay and ducks need letting out once we collect their eggs. It’s all a good excuse to get that intoxicating morning sunshine, but sometimes in the winter it’s blustery and 19 degrees outside.

I love the look of the morning sun filtering through the trees and cloud cover. These are shoots of lilies promising to come this summer. You don’t see all the weeding that needs to be done, do you?

I can only imagine how beautiful this tree will be when it is more than three straggly large branches coming out of the ground. Maybe we’ll get one peach this year. If the dogs don’t get it first.

Well, good morning, Splat! She wants her grain and she wants a relieved udder! She’s all business this morning, knowing exactly where to go and what to do. Her nose hair is rubbed off from the feeder grates. It annoys me. I plan to smooth them out this summer so hopefully it won’t rub the hair off anymore.

Portabello is our wether. He’s not yet two, and he still acts like a baby. He is so very friendly, and loves having his back rubbed. In the next month (Lord willing!), they’ll have three new friends joining them!

The dogs are fed and happy and it is always fun to watch them play around with each other. They are working dogs, guarding our children and animals, and are especially busy in the night hours, chasing off whatever varmits want to come tour our property for supper pickings. Our lab is very mellow, but definitely the alpha/master teacher, and our maremma is still a puppy in training.

Back to the house and lookie what we’ve got! Fresh milk right out of the front yard. I still can’t believe how cool that is.

Oh, here are some more pictures from outside before I go in. This is a small magnolia tree that I thought I killed when I moved it. Last fall I ruthlessly hacked off all of the obviously dead limbs and this spring I am delighted to see blooms!

These are lenten roses, blooming and bringing color in late winter. I like how they are spreading and would love to add more this fall.

Daffodils, too, I need to plant more of. I enjoy them very much, especially the fragrant varieties.

Time to go inside! This sign greets me in the laundry room right from the mud room. It’s a good reminder. Sometimes I need it hourly.

And while we’re in this room on our way in, don’t these bottles look so pretty on the windowsill? A friend of mine gave me her collection when she moved, and I have several windowsills with them. I think they’re beautiful, and I love the Lord for decorating my house for me, too!

How are the kiddos doing? Well, the olders are finishing up the animal chores outside, and here is my 7 year old already dressed and making her bed. Don’t be too impressed because I guarantee I’ll have to remind her to pick up her jammies off the floor, brush her teeth, take care of her hair…

And here I am. No, I’m not dressed and ready for the day yet but I did read my Bible and brush my teeth (does that count?). Dressing’s not going to happen until after I workout, while the kids are eating breakfast. If I dress first, forget it, working out will not happen at all.

And this angel I get to greet in the morning, too. *sigh* Sometimes mommyhood is just so tender and sweet it hurts, you know?

That’s all for this morning! It’s sure a blessing to open my front door in the beginning of the day and see such a beautiful sight. I bet your own camera would show you some of yours, too.

Because His mercies are new every morning,

Early Spring

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Early spring around here, weather-wise, means rain showers with peeks of sun, cloud covers and intermittent hail and snowflakes. It also means indoor handwork slows down and outside chores pick up. Here are some pics of other things going on around home and farm-ette.

I was at the store about to buy a bouquet of daffodils and had a *duh* moment; I could just go pick some of my own outside! I grow a lot of different varieties along the stone rock wall bordering the north side of our property. Some are pleasantly fragrant.

The weather keeps the children indoors sometimes. Here they are on the floor trying out some Michelangelo-style artwork.

This is the first year we’re going to try broiler hens. What that means is we’ll be having a butchering day in about eight weeks, and hopefully fill our freezer with lots of fresh, wholesome chicken for our suppers. They’ll be pastured on fresh grass every day and supplemented with organic, soy-free grains and kitchen scraps. Here is a little bit about what is different about pastured poultry.

Today was the first day I was able to handmilk my Kinder doe without using the handpump. I’m sorry to throw out the milk everyday and am looking forward to getting milk without bits of wound scabs in it (ew). My doe loves getting handmilked more than pump-milked, but it does make me sorry to stress her wound every time (it’s so close to her teat hole). She gets a comfrey-herbal salve massage everyday and loves that though. Yesterday my hand showed the blood stains. Poor thing.

I spent a morning recently with a shepherdess helping her with sheep shearing. Let me tell you that it was a great deal of fun! I really enjoyed watching the process, skirting the fleeces (that is, picking out veggie matter and gunk), and talking with all sorts of people who are new and old to the whole concept of growing food and caring for animals. I felt right at home! The fleece smelled SOOO good and it was awesome just burying my hands into its softness.

This is a Shetland sheep; they are smaller than typical sheep. Each fleece weighed about four pounds and would definitely keep a home spinner like me happy for a bit. Lovely wool.

We grab the sunshiny days as they come, sitting out in the garden to read or to do schoolwork. Or to daydream with a cup of hot tea. It’s pleasant here, quiet, in the woods with the sounds of wind through the trees and cheeping of birds and soft quacking of ducks going by.

The garden always seems to be a little bit of a disappointment to me this time of year. I never have enough sprouts that I think I ought, and yet by summer it all looks full, somehow. Here is spinach coming up. And garlic. The same garlic I debated on planting last fall because our house was up for sale and my husband told me to bless whoever would be here. Glad it’s me!

My husband (on the right) is a good sport. He’s not as much into the farm-thing but he loves doing building projects and does appreciate garden fresh food on the table, and he sees the good in raising our children around it all. He’s the one talking about bringing on pigs now! Here he is learning how to wether a buckling. Notice that he’s not squeamish at all. That would be me. We’ll be wethering as needed with a Burdizzo rather than bands as we think it’s far more humane. All the bucklings were up and running within minutes like nothing at all had happened.

The little guy on the right stayed a buck and was the last baby to leave our farm. I would have kept him longer on the mom if her teat wasn’t so wounded. I’ve got my eye on three doelings I’m hoping to buy next month to add to our herd.

And of course I can’t end this without the announcement that Ruby Mae is now walking and almost running! She will be three in June. I’m learning that Down Syndrome doesn’t necessarily mean “never”; it can just mean “sometime later”.

It is definitely “bye bye, Baby…hello Toddler” time at our house. And yes, she is a total delight just like the photo shows!

Happy spring to you all and blessings besides.

A Birthday Gift of a Challenge

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aka: How to Give Yourself a Milk Bath in the Barn

In our endeavors to eat and grow wholesome food, some challenges must arise to grow us (or *me* at least!) both in wisdom and humility. Sometimes vegetable seeds don’t sprout and sometimes foxes quietly swipe freeranging hens. I’m thinking that those wonderful hobby home or farm photos in magazines with the rosy sunlight filtering through trees over the rooster’s bright feathers are really not telling the whole story, because truth be told, if the whole story was told, no one would grow or raise anything. I’m not even sure a toddler would keep trying to walk if she knew she was going to fall on her hiney half a hundred times either.

Our latest challenge involved our Kinder milk goat. She freshened with her first kidding successfully, giving us three handsome bucklings (and yes, I’m still learning all those fancy words!). Anyhow, turns out one of the bucks would rather chomp than suckle. All breastfeeding mamas are now cringing, yes?

So we were trying to gently milk our doe without causing her pain in her healing teat. Which meant I could not hand milk her. It was a pretty stressful situation because she was full of milk but not getting milked out by the bucklings anymore because I separated them overnight to give her a break. I didn’t know what to do! One friend recommended I put together a makeshift handpump and another (bless her heart) recommended a breastpump. Which I had in a dresser drawer! Dumb thing never worked for me so I don’t know why I kept it.

Anyhow, here we were working together. I am holding the cup on the doe’s teat, my daughter is holding her legs because she doesn’t want us near her wound, and my son is working the pump. And, oh yes, my husband had grabbed the camera to join us. The doe could otherwise care less about what we were doing because she had a face full of grain to enjoy.

Now, don’t you “longing to homestead” mamas dream of waking in the morning to use breastpumps on milk goats? Grin.

Well, it worked!! Well….sorta! The main trouble was that the bottles were small and the pump itself backed up with milk because goat teats hang and human ones don’t. So my son pumped and pumped until we relieved her udder a good 15 or more ounces of milk…and then the milk bath began. The milk backed up through the line and my son got rained on. Oh my. We laughed SO hard as my son would just ham it up! Is that called “bonding” with my children or what?!

Everyone’s happy now. Bucklings are sold and will be off to new homes soon. Doe is healing and providing a good amount of milk in the morning (which we are currently giving to the happy dogs until she is completely well). And we are now the proud new owner of a very overpriced but works-well Henry Milker. If any of us are unable to handmilk or if any of my does have sensitive teat issues, milking can still happen with this dandy hand milker. No more milk baths for my son! And no more hair or dirt to strain out either! It’s pretty cool. But again, seriously overpriced, which is a bummer. I never would have bought it if we hadn’t been going through this, but I’m glad we have one now.

Later that afternoon, I caught my daughter reading a book while baking me a birthday cake. She was making a buttercream frosting in this photo. I couldn’t believe she was reading at the same time! And not even a cookbook!

It’s hard not to have a nice birthday when challenges in homesteading can be met and overcome together with my children. S’all good.

Blessings,

Late Winter Head Spinning

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I think my head’s going to pop off. Somehow when I wasn’t paying too much attention I left behind my winter’s rest and started on a number of projects with gusto. And now I think my gusto’s getting up and leaving me! So this blog entry will be a brain dump; feel free to pass it by if your own head starts to hurt.

Wiving: still trying to find my way around my husband’s new obsession. I am so thankful to have received the last couple of issues of No Greater Joy magazine because the whole *obsession* thing is addressed. And I’m thinking, “Oh GOOD! This is normal! But now what do I do?…..” And by the way, they’re currently having an Amazon blitz with a book on an issue that is so important to talk to children about.

Mommying: oh….I don’t need to list anything here because if you’re a mom you know. It’s full.

Homemaking: I’m still in the midst of turning my house into one big snowglobe and shaking it all up. Furniture is moving all over the place, rooms are being reorganized, and my husband has more than once had to break out his tools to re-do something in a different place. I’m also slowly painting my way through the downstairs, changing colors. There will be some rewiring and carpentry to be done as well. I’ll share some before and after pics when it’s done.

Outside: Spring is coming! And unless I just want to un-garden for another season, I need to finish the inside of my house so I can work on the outside of it. Chicks are arriving this week, ducklings are on order, seeds are ready to be started (in my newly heated greenhouse woohoo!), and I’m still looking to buy more dairy goats (gals) and sell my own babies (guys). I’m pretty certain my honeybees are not going to make it through this winter, but I’d love to be surprised. I’ll be adding a second hive, and have those bees on order, too. Next month (wait…it is next month yet? Ack! Tomorrow!) I’ll be helping out with shearing and planning a nice little herd of shetland sheep to add to our home sweet home. The new pasture for the goats is planned and we’re just waiting for the ground to thaw to start putting in posts for the fence. And then there’s a barn to finish building…

Other projects: I have a podcast to prepare for this week (which has been so well received; thank you for your many blessings on it), and a photobook of the last year to put together, hopefully before this year is out. And speaking of last year, I finished my Holistic Nutrition masters program (yay!) and now want to expand my herb education beyond “family herbalist”. So I’m eyeing a new distant learning school but I better not jump until fall (at least). I have a soap making class to teach next week, a preschool bags activity group to keep up with (and a bunch of activities to make for it), a retreat to prepare for (planning/preparing meals for the speaker and making a hundred or so bookmarks), and a homeschool conference coming up which means I need to plan out next year’s curriculum so I know what I need to purchase. Let’s not even discuss the handwork projects I want to finish up.

I know. When I die there will still be things in my “in” box. And everything I’m doing will someday burn up anyway; it’s that whole vanity thing. But still, it’s a glory to participate in eternally-living-child-raising, help-meet-covenant-keeping, creative endeavors and creature-husbandry. I just pray the Lord keeps my head on straight through it all.

Blessings,

The Gift of Winter

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I really needed a winter like this. Wet. Dark. Somber skies and gray overcasting the evergreens embracing our home. I needed time to thoughtfully wash dishes and see that the garden was mossy and wilted, not calling me out to weed nor to plant. I needed to spend a slow Christmas, and to just savor my snail mail and magazines and tea cups warming my hands without rushing out to milk a goat or check the beehive or mulch or do whatever else that pushes me to rush through my days no matter how intentional I want to live every day.

Every day I miss my baby. And I feel guilty for not missing her enough. Winter has been good for snuggling into grief, for seeing God through the hurt.

I miss, too, the feeling of my house and all within it welcoming me *home*. How does a woman release her house to the wind and then bloom within it again, returned to her?

And I’m weary of failed relationships, of people who are quick to think the worst, forgive the least, and continually set the bar too high for me to achieve any love in return.

I needed winter.

My doe greeted me today as I spoke to her softly and patted her babies playfully clamoring all around my boots. Since becoming a mother, she has given her trust to me, and no longer shies away when I approach. It is a balm to my soul, this little thing the Lord has done in my barnyard. And I confirmed that yes, one of her teats has dried up already. She suffered a small wound on that side and wouldn’t allow the bucks to touch her. Her udder is half deflated. Sort of like winter. Sort of like me. I stroked her neck and received her grunts and nudgings.

I closed and latched the barn dutch door, more for a wind break than for predator control. I patted my maremma, “good dog…” knowing that he would sleep in the barn, alert even while dreaming. The clouds overhead were moving at a good clip, swirling over themselves. I dug my hands into my pockets and headed towards the house with yellow light casting out of the windows.

On the way I noticed the buds on several tired shrubs, pushing forth life into pregnant pods. Red branches were at least a good four inches anew throughout last year’s maple, reminding me I hadn’t pruned this winter. Irises that won’t bloom until May–my baby was due in May–are already on their way up through the soil. And the garlic. The garlic that I debated about planting last fall…

“What if we’re not here? What if the new owners don’t even know what it is?” I asked my husband.

“Plant it anyway. It would be a blessing to the mommy who would live here. Bless her.”

I laugh. Me. I am the one blessed. With garlic, with goats, with six (six!) lovely children, with a steady husband, with a house halfway through chaotic redecorating and repainting and re-introducing itself to me as my home.

I needed winter, God. But thank you for the tender buds that promise me the spring to come. Thank You for renewing my heart day by day, and truly most of all, for You.

Yours,

Goats!

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We are relatively new at raising Kinder milk goats, and are enjoying it and learning a lot about the good, bad, and ugly. Within two days I witnessed both a horrible death and a wonderful birth. I’ve also had my own nose in books studying hard about what to feed, how to feed, etc etc etc. And the one thing I’ve taken is that, truly, there can’t be a *right* way to do this. It’s a matter of trying to fit our own philosophy of husbandry with the experiences of those who have gone before….but sometimes our philosophy isn’t really formed without our own experience, and those “who have gone before” disagree completely with one another. So I am thankful for God’s grace in it all, both successes and failures, and for the pleasure of raising these wonderful creatures.

This is Lee. He was the second born of triplets on January 28th, and has wonderful markings, with brown and gray in places as well as black and white.

Here is the mom. She is just two years old and this was her first kidding. I am delighted that she was from the get-go a nurturing mama, even taking on an orphan for a day, and I am patiently waiting my turn at her udder.

Here are the other two babies nesting in their box. My son told me that with a camera flash, as in this photo, goat eyes are blue, unlike rabbits, which are red. Wild! I had the babies in coats for the first day, and decided against using a heat lamp. Instead I used a heating mat underneath and they love snuggling up on top of it. But I’m sure my yellow labrador misses it.

I really did try to get a good photo of the other two bucklings. They move fast! This one is Jackson, who is mostly gray but also has some of the same black and white markings. He was the third born.

This is Lincoln, the first born, taking a stretch. He has the most spots! All of the bucklings are very, very active, and very friendly. All were disbudded on day four, and we are waiting to wether them in case someone needs or would like to buy a buck. We are strongly considering keeping one for our own use, with other doelings we hope to purchase this spring. We plan to keep a closed herd (meaning, we won’t be leasing out our bucks).

So now you’ve met most of the family. Portabello is a beautiful tawny colored weather we have, and he is a sweetie (and, apparently, camera-shy). These bucklings, though, *whew!* they were running around and busy climbing on me and nibbling on my skirt. I’m just glad I got the photos I did!

Blessings,

And Then There Was…LIFE!

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Well, after the evening my friend and I had last night, we needed a good day today, and it was. Good, that is! Our kinder doe gave birth to three beautiful bucks (yeah….I know…), and it was wonderful to be there and see it all happen.

Never mind the pink…we were expecting at least one girl from the bunch!

And the more beautiful thing? Looks like this mama will adopt the orphan from last night’s tragedy.

Life is so lovely!

Blessings,

Death Visits

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I spent yesterday evening helplessly dangling a flashlight and watching a friend’s milk goat die as I tried to comfort the animal. Her condition was discovered too late, and even if we had been there when she had pushed her uterus out with her babies, I’m not all that confident we could have saved her. Other goat owners and a vet were called, and pleading messages were left on voicemails. Google was helpful, but as we gathered supplies in the dark, the Lord let the mama die. And I will tell you that dying is hard to do.

Two babies died, too. I’m not sure if they suffocated in their wee sacks or what, but clearly with the mama unable to attend to them, they went quickly. I rejoiced to see the sole surviving baby doe take to a bottle, and was grateful for the milk from another goatherd we were able to contact.

Two days earlier, one of my older friends died. She went in the night, at that seemingly tender hour when other events seem to happen in fleeting days, 3am. Her heart beat the last that was ordained from the beginning of time, and she flew. It is a great comfort to know her witness, her testimony in the Lord, and that her time of meeting Him was joyful and without condemnation. Still, on this side, death stings. How do you comfort a 4 year old?

My milk doe is due to have babies any day now. With every morning for the past few weeks, we’ve expected to see kids as we set out for barn chores. I bought a baby monitor last night on the way home from my friend’s house, and I think I heard every hoof step and hay munch in my dreams.

I hope it goes well. My heart is a little raw these days, but I am trying to listen to what the Lord is trying to teach me. I just wish I were a little more attentive when suffering isn’t involved.

Change of Seasons

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Since the miscarriage, I’ve been thinking lately how my life is changing seasons. I’m no longer the young woman taking my fertility and youth for granted. I’m also no longer the girl who was so challenged by what other people thought of me, it guided what I did, said and wore. I’m finally comfortable being the person that some people love (xo!), and the same person that others hate (xo to you, anyway!). I am learning to become more content every day with who God has made me to be, and it is a lovely and restful place to be.

So it seems appropriate as I think on things that the leaves outside are about all blown from the trees, and the smell of winter is in the air. Fall is bowing out, winter coming in. And God is so gracious in it all, directing and orchestrating changes both in creation and in me.

I feel I’ve been MIA in these Internet parts. All the blogs I used to read…I’ve sort of forgotten about them. I didn’t mean to. I just decided that not having the computer available when I want it was actually a blessing. And that I could actually do the things I was reading about others doing and blogging about. In fact, if after reading this post you want to turn off your own computer and go to work on your own projects…and then you forget to come back…I wouldn’t be offended. I’m definitely not a “stay on the computer” encourager!

One thing I’m doing more of is reading and writing snail mail letters. I love getting mail in the mailbox! It’s so lovely to see my writer’s handwriting, to steep a cup of tea and then just focus on my friend and her words. It’s so different than reading a blog-click-reading a blog-click-reading a blog… I know, I’m a dying breed. It’s ok. I don’t mind what others think 😉

I’ve been picking at projects here and there, mostly the ones that are stashed here and there. Seems I’m forever dreaming up new projects without completing the ones I’ve started. I think it’s time for a little discipline and to finish up some of these lovely things.

I have a lovely bump of Icelandic wool to spin, but first I needed to get the other spun wool off the bobbins. Like I said…unfinished projects!

One thing I did get done was to harvest a good bunch of herbs before the first frost was due to arrive. I was surprised at how nicely they dried just hanging in my kitchen; usually I use the dehydrator. I’ll have to crumble and jar these up soon, though, to avoid dust collecting on them. Or maybe I’ll just leave several bundles out for good smells and looks. I left the rest of the garden as is. I knew the first frost would kill the tumbling bright orange nasturtiums but I couldn’t bare to pull them out yet.

We’ve had lots of people over, some invited, some surprises, but always a great delight. We keep a puzzle out most of the year (not summer…that is outside season!) and our guests like to pick at them while they’re here. It’s surprising how a simple thing can open up someone to dialogue. Of course, it also helps that we don’t have a TV to distract anyone.

I managed to get some shopping done with my Mom when my parents came to visit. Shopping is not my favorite thing to do; I’m so picky about clothing (no plastic-wear, please) and it is so hard to find basic things to wear. If someone would open a shop that sold wonderful aprons and simple cotton shirts and long easy skirts and shawls for fall and woolen capes for winter and real wool/cotton leggings and homespun knitted socks…I’d be a customer for life!

With the colder weather outside, the board games are coming out more. And books. And elaborate train tracks and baking recipes.

And then, we did get hit not only with the first frost, but the first snow! We got 6-7 inches and the children were wild with pleasure in sledding and snowball fighting. Last year we got not even a single snowflake! Outside, the roads were slick and cluttered with abandoned cars. I was so thankful I had pre-bought snowpants and snow gloves for all of the children, just in case, during one of those rare shopping trips. It was nice to be comfortable in my home, not feeling “trapped” at all….of course it helped that we kept our power on the whole miraculous time. Our visitors from California, however, were freezing!

Our two does (far left and right) are (we hope) expecting kids next month sometime. If these gals actually give birth, it will be the first successful breeding we’ve ever had and what a joy that will be!

Staying snowed in with grandparents keeping the children occupied gave me opportunity to address our Christmas cards. Every year we receive less and less; folks either stop sending them or they transition to e-cards and such. I miss finding my mailbox full of cards, but I realize, as I’ve mentioned, I’m a dying breed of treasuring snail mail.

I’m already in the mood to decorate for Christmas. We bought the largest tree we’ve ever had, placed it in the middle of the room, and brought down boxes from the attic full of lights and sleigh bells and children’s Christmas books. If the Lord sees fit to sell our house this spring, this will be our last Christmas here. I want it to be nice.

So blessings to you, sweet readers! Make sure to make time to sit on the snow chairs your kids make and enjoy the other funny things they like to do.

Blessings,

Bye, Bye, Summer

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How did I get to mid-October already? Yet, here we are with crisp sunny days and leaves glowing with yellow. It’s time for garden clean-up: the last mowing, the weeding and mulching, putting away the hammock and so forth. Garlic will hopefully be planted in the next couple of days, but it is bittersweet, wondering who will pull it out in July as our home is for sale. Do I even want to cloche the fall vegetable offerings? Part of me just wants to put it all to bed, to say my goodbyes and let it rest.

The kitchen has been busy as usual. Lots of jams are put up, and applesauce, and salsas and tomato sauces and dehydrated garlic, onion, hot peppers, mushrooms and various herbs from the garden. I’ve got plenty of salve for boo-boo’s and lots of tinctures for ailments that hopefully won’t show up now that I’m armed. A fun thing I’ve been doing is preparing “tincture kits” for my friends while watching a movie (Pride and Prejudice!). You should have seen and smelled the small media room; it was clouded with a dry herbal smell for days! For five bucks each, my pals get all the premixed organic herbs and can make a pint of tincture for themselves. It’s a very happy go around.

We’ve been milking and are now working to dry off the goat. She has become a real pain, laying down on the milk bucket. My husband has to hold her backside up in the air so we can milk! (Find that man a chiropractor!) Twice we’ve had to throw out the milk because goaty stepped into it. And recently, I got into my beehive completely excited for the honey harvest I was going to have and when I got in there….nothing. Nada. Not only was there no honey to harvest, there wasn’t enough to feed them through the winter. So I am feeding my honeybees (trying not to sulk about it) and in all practicalities, starting over. I ought to mention that summer never *really* arrived here in the Pacific Northwest so not only did the bees not do well, dozens of tomato plants with fruit that rotted on the vine were pulled out by gardeners all over the area. I did manage to get my 85 pound puppy into the van for his trip to the vet to get *fixed* (that is, really, “broken”), but had to clean out the poop when I got home. Did I mention he is a big dog? No small potatoes there! Ah, the ease of country living…

I managed to sneak away for a weekend to the beach and got three scrapbook albums finished. When I first got there, I took a good look around and realized I was surrounded by scrapbooking professionals with tools and lights and electrical gadgets I’ve never even heard of. I was like, um, here are my pictures, papers and tape and pen. My books are very, very plain, maybe a strip of colored paper on the edges and that’s that. It’s just not my thing to make ornate pages even though I can totally appreciate the artistry that goes into them. And anyway, I got three books done. To me, that’s golden. And walking on the beach wasn’t too shabby, either.

I spun some more yarn, and tried to knit a hat. Which I finally ripped all out because I couldn’t get the GAP to close (you knitters will understand). And I am currently trying to knit a sock. Which I think I’ll probably be ripping out because I can’t get the GAP to close. Sigh. Knitter at heart, but not in my fingers. Maybe I’ll just end up spinning yarn for other knitters. In the meantime, I made a nice basket, finished an autumnal quilt, and have stacks of fabric waiting for other projects. And I have a nice gentleman from N’York making me some new harnesses for my loom.

I hope you’re enjoying your first days of fall! It’s a wonderful time to plan projects for those restful and quiet days of winter.

Blessings,

Milk From (Your!) Front Yard

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Well, if you have the space….why not? In this podcast I’ll share about the benefits of whole, raw milk, share an interview I did with my cow-owning friend, and tell you about my own dairy goats. As usual, my husband pipes in at the end. If you can grow lettuce, you can milk an animal.

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The benefits of raw milk are many! This is a wholesome food provided by God for our benefit, but we have, like so many other foods, messed it up. Here are some of the very good reasons to switch from dead, pasteurized milk, to the living, raw real thing (along with lots of links from here to follow up for more research!): The Health Benefits of Raw Milk. That website is FULL of great information.

If you are interested in finding your own source for raw, real milk, go to http://www.realmilk.com/where.html. And yes, you will be paying more for this milk. But you are buying REAL food and not junk. It really matters!

If you’d like a history of how we got to where we are, concerning the milk supply, this book is very informative and very entertaining. It also answers questions regarding cholesterol and stuff like e-coli. It’s not a hard read at all:

This is the book my friend Sonja was referring to in her interview. It is definitely a favorite among dairy cow owners:

And here is the link to the website with helpful information and forums she mentioned: http://familycow.proboards.com/index.cgi.

If you’re more interested in keeping dairy goats, this is a good starter book with lots of helpful information:

Here is some more information on the kinder goat breed that we raise and love.

 

And, not to get political over this, but when the government is involved in choosing FOR you what is “best”, topics such as food choices and medical procedures (etc. etc.) get messy. This is one book on my “want to read” list…and one you can ignore if you don’t value your liberties to make your own decisions, taking responsibility for your OWN health and life:

 

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Blessings to you and yours,

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The Quest for Thornlessness

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Psalms 68:19 Blessed be the Lord, who daily loadeth us with benefits, even the God of our salvation. Selah.

I miss writing. I really do. There are a lot of things I like to dabble in and do, but the only thing I really enjoy doing is writing. Even though it seems that my podcast is even more popular than my blog (thank you for listening!), I’d rather write you all a letter than sit in front of a microphone. Which isn’t bad, just different, y’know? The subject at hand for podcasting is always too long for a blog post. In any case, all day long the ideas, the phrases, the outlines form in my head. But unless I jot them down *poof* away they go. I’ve gotten too spoiled to use a pencil and now just wait for computer time. And when it comes, it is short. It’s like getting a mac truck going down the highway, setting it to cruise, and then *road construction* it is stop-start-stop. The Lord knows this. For some reason, I need to let this drive to write go, too.

I’m reading Disciplines of a Godly Woman. It is so good. I don’t mean “SO good” like “ya gotta read this best seller!” I mean “so GOOOOOD” like “it’s just the words I need from a woman sweet and humble enough to share her insight.” This book is re-setting my priorities. Each section, each chapter is a thoughtful exhortation and reminder to put first things first. Like prayer. Like worship. Like contentment and perseverance. I’m reminded that my life is NOT about what makes me happy, but about what the Lord–the God who gave me life and who redeemed me from my sin–wants from me. Like character. Like meekness. Like submission, obedience, a nurturing heart and an open mouth to tell others about Him. What does it matter if I get to do what I like if it means missing out on the work He wants to do in me?

Meekness is a hard road. Some days I feel wronged and misunderstood. Some days I know I am wronged. But what do I have, really? My self-righteousness (feeling like I’m a “good person”)? My morals (feeling like others fall short of my standards)? I’ve been working through The Quest for Meekness and Quietness of Spirit. I’m not sharing this because I’m humble enough to (ha) but because I long for that quietness in every moment. I don’t wish to be irked or irritated or provoked anymore. By anyone. Ever. Is that even possible? I do not know. But God is allowing plenty of opportunities in my life to choose the path of snippiness or humility. I want to be by His feet at all times, but sometimes it grieves my haughty spirit to do so. Sometimes the digging out of the thorns of self-righteousness hurts. It just seems better to let them stay there. But I want more of God, and He wants more of me to look like Him. Thornless.

In the midst of these things, the morning sun still continues to show up. What a mercy to have another day, again and again. The air just tastes sweet. Cleaned up from yesterday’s garbage. I never know what the day will bring. Naptime and cuddles? A sold house? A trip to the ER? It is a blessing to just wake up in my bed, to whisper “thank you” to Jesus for another day.

I’m in the barn in the mornings, milking my friend’s goat. It is pleasant. I love the smell of fresh hay and fresh shavings on the floor. I love getting milk for my own family. There is work involved; sometimes I have to (er, lovingly) shove her against the wall and hold her there when she is impatient and wants to be done. Sometimes I am too tired to go out in the morning. And sometimes the mosquitos are annoying. But do I really deserve better? I deserve nothing. It is all a gift, including the milk.

Part of fall-out from not writing is looking for other things to do with my hands. Well, why not learn to create a basket? I know I could buy one for a buck at the dollar store, but it’s not the same as playing with reeds and learning the rhythms of weaving. Maybe I’ll love making them. Or maybe this will be the only one! I will tell you that in doing these things, I have a much greater appreciation and respect for others that do them. Have you ever mocked or carelessly thrown away a handmade gift? If so, you threw away their time and love, something that is precious. It’s good to be careful with the souls of others, to show them gratitude, love, acceptance for their efforts. Even if you do not keep the gift.

I am pretty proud of myself (is that self-righteous?) for knitting my first pair of socks! Yes, the toe is wrong and I’ll have to take it out and redo it (someday I’ll thank my friend for that), but the idea of knitting a pair of socks is so wonderful to me! And they feel so good! I’ve already gone out and bought the next skein of yarn for pair number two. On another level, I spun my first ball of merino-silk yarn, and want to make a hat with that. I’m such a fiber and fabric crazy-woman. I also have a stash of lovely red fabric just waiting for my next quilt; a red and white something-or-other. And another dear friend is teaching me to read patterns and to sew. Such lovely people in my life.

I am homemaking and homeschooling six children besides these things. Sometimes I just can’t believe my life, I am so thankful. My children are with me, all day long. To some moms that may sound like a curse (for the mom), or perhaps a horrible situation (for the children). I just am sad for them (is that self-righteous?). Building relationship and character are so important. We have a nation full of independently minded whiners who expect to get all the entertainment and goodies they “deserve” just for breathing. I’d rather build a nation of inter-dependent families members who work hard and are grateful for anything they get, including the air they breathe. Staying at home, doing laundry, teaching my own children how to read….small pebbles for the future big ripples. God’s grace is abundant in gifting me this life.

So that is where my little speck-of-dust-in-the-sandy-beaches life has been lately. I can tell you that some days my little “happy home” wears me down and I am tired. That is when I am most at risk to cultivate a pity party and rehash the wrongs others have brought upon me or to pitch a fit about why things aren’t the way I want them. I don’t think anyone’s home is perfectly happy all the time. The question is not how happy is your home; it is….what is God teaching through this trial or that event or from the words of that person? What fruit is He seeking from you and from me in the midst of daily-ness? And, are we willing to lay down our lives to give Him His due: glory, worship, honor?

It is worth it. He is worthy. Pull out the thorns, Lord.

Blessings,

Real Life Happens Outside of the Computer

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This is from our road trip; the scenery was beautiful!

Life’s been so full lately that I am hardly missing my online world! My computer time has been almost nonexistant, and my blogs unread and unfollowed. Other than tweeting with my friends and answering a few emails a day, it’s been pretty quiet (for me!). Add to that our typical schedule-less household for the summer and I have suppers prepared at 8:00 and children not going to bed until 10:00!

Showings on the house continue with very positive feedback, but even that traffic seems to be slowing a bit. I am not concerned; I know the Lord has gone ahead and is preparing for our next home so I will content myself to practice patience rather than run ahead of Him. Not that I don’t want to start packing, like today! There’s been a lot of talk in our family of “what if…..” so who knows where we’ll end up or what we’ll do. Well….GOD knows (smile).

We found a lovely new home for our two milk goats and supplies, and with the money I bought a discounted spinning wheel. Oh, it’s so relaxing to spin! I just love the feel of the wool through my fingers and to see it twist into yarn is so amazing. Sometimes I listen to my iPod, either to audio Bible or to Wretched Radio. I can see from the photo I need to work on my posture!

One thing that is helping my posture is running. I’m two months into training for a 5K in September, and although I am still slow (it takes me 3o minutes to run 2 miles…is that slow?), I am toning up and feeling good. A couple friends are doing this with me, and that makes it easier. Friends are good to have, are they not?

In the meantime, I took the entire herd of milking goats from a friend of mine who needed a break from their care as her 3 year-old son is undergoing cancer treatment. It is a big help to me as well, as I am learning to milk her goat and getting milk for our own family now. I love learning ways to provide wholesome food for my own family, right from my own yard. It’s very empowering to see all that wonderful frothy fresh milk every morning!

Speaking of the yard (or garden), we’re about finished picking peas, and have been eating salad and strawberries for a bit now. I don’t have a *lot* of any one crop, but I am looking forward to drying and powdering all the garlic I pulled! And I am very hopeful that I’ll have a good amount of honey to pull this early fall as the hive is going strong. I dream of having large amounts of produce to can, dry, freeze…someday, maybe. Tonight I traded three dozen eggs with a friend who brought me a large bag of produce from her garden. It’s so nice to help one another.

I have a gentleman coming soon to help me set up my loom, and I have designs to create cotton dishtowels with the instruction of an experienced lady. I cannot wait! I think working on a loom would be a wonderful thing for Ruby to do when she is ready, and it could possibly be a source of income for her as well.

I am reading a lot! Books on spinning, on yarn, on living out Christian principles and on theology. Books on various health topics, homeschooling and magazines of all sorts. I wonder if I’ll actually finish any of them this summer, as I pick from here and there instead of just finishing one. I just got snail mail from a dear friend in California, and need to write her back. And I’m picking at projects here and there, trying to finish them up before our next adventure.

Visitors are plentiful and often; it is a joy to share our home with others. It’s so neat to actually have visitors that take us up on the annual Christmas letter “if you’re ever this way…”

In between all of that, I am hoping to finish knitting my first pair of socks under the watchful eye of my friend. We have a field trip planned to a basket-supply store in the city with the basket-making momma of a friend; I am envisioning sitting on the porch and weaving a basket or two in the early fall. Maybe I’ll get around to watercoloring a picture and maybe I’ll actually sew that dress I wanted to do. A friend of mine comes over once a week to help me learn to read sewing patterns and to do things correctly on the machine. Like I said, it’s a little of this and a little of that. It sounds like a lot, but it’s really nothing heavy. And have you noticed how many other people are involved in these projects?! There are so many people around that know how to do stuff. Most folks are thrilled to pass on their skills and knowledge!

I need to finish painting the rails on our porch(es) before summer goes away. And at some point I’m going to have to reorganize my homeschool and schedule for the fall as well. All this to say…I think living real life is so much better than living in a computer world. I’d encourage you to go outside and grow and cut some flowers, sign up for that cake decorating class you’ve been wanting to do, and spend a few hours in the kitchen making sticky jam with your toddlers. Summer is short; fill it with real life!

Blessings,

Babies on the Farm-ette

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Well, trying to breed our doe milk goats twice in the past year has resulted in nothing more than a couple of contented goats making our pasture picturesque. After weighing our options, we decided that what we would add a buck to our small herd to avoid yet another trip to the breeders across a ferry and throughout windy roads and of course adding stress (again!) upon the girls (and me!). What this means, besides the work of finding a quality buck and managing my herd differently, is buck-proofing the fence. Is “buck-proofing a fence” even possible?! It also means yet another year of waiting until I become a goat-milking mama…and that’s assuming these girls will even conceive. Ah well, God’s best for me is to trust His womb opening and closing, even in goats! Photobucket

We did have babies here, though! My daughter bred her chocolate havana rabbits and had eight kits that survived. All of her babies are so friendly and cuddly due to her daily loving attention.

Wouldn’t you want to take one home?

And here is what we found earlier today right outside our back door! Aren’t they adorable?! These are chickadees, five of them. What a gift life is.

Naturally Reared Animals

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Nothing in human nature is so God-like as the disposition to do good to our fellow-creatures.
Samuel Richardson

I am so thankful to the Lord for the privilege of keeping and raising a variety of animals. It is hard work, but the pleasure of being around them is but a partial return that includes meat, milk and eggs. Furthermore, these wonderful creatures are character-honing tools for not only myself, but for the children as well. Generally speaking, if they are well looked after, they thrive. If they are not, sickness and death are inevitable.

We are slowly making changes in the care of our animals, from conventional means to a more natural method. This means, for our family, that we are not overvaccinating them, we are giving them real food, and that when there are health problems, we will treat with herbs and such before turning to chemical means. We keep in contact with a conventional vet who is respectful of our choices, and (bonus!) makes house calls.

We expect our animals to have strong immune systems and to be as healthy as they can all possibly be. We do our best to keep their areas clean, their water fresh, and to give them access to as much sunshine as our Northwest weather will allow.

Here are some examples of what we have done, and where we hope to go.

My maremma puppy spent his first 6 weeks on his mama and on the cheapest dog food the breeder could provide. I was a little concerned with just switching his food suddenly, but he had no problems whatsoever. He is now 4 months old. My lab is going on 9 years old. Both dogs get a diet of raw meaty bones and meat, along with blended veggies and some supplements. I believe they have no need of grain. The adult gets 2-3% of his weight in feed (and the pup 5-10%) which I can change as needed depending on their activity levels and girth. My pup was looking too lean for me (you can see that in the photo even), so I’ve upped his ration and added more oils/fats. I also give them preprepared raw meat mixes that my local pet store carries, as that is easier sometimes. My pup is still eating 2-3x a day. The vet gave them both a clean bill of health just this month, and we only vaccinated them for rabies. And I will tell you that my lab (did I mention he is almost 9?) has NO TARTER on his teeth whatsoever. They are very pearly white, very clean. Feeding my dogs this way is not cheap, but do you know how much dental care for a dog is?! I shop for people-grade meat and buy when it is less than $1 a pound. Using high grade kibble isn’t that much cheaper, and this is so much better. Their eyes and fur are shiny. Even their poop is a lot smaller than those gross fat things I see other dogs do.

These are the dog books I used to come up with a better diet for them. I don’t agree with everything in them (especially when it comes to worldview), but they sure were helpful.

My kinder goats were the first to get a better diet. When they arrived, their skin was dry and their fur very dull. We took them to get bred, and neither of them took. When I compare how they look today, I am so happy! Their fur is so shiny and I *think* both are now expecting kids (but the proof will be in March!) For them, I buy bulk amounts of barley, oats, wheat bran, soybean oil, cane molasses and salt, and mix them according the recipe in this book:

I also give them a handful of sunflower seeds, which they love, and give them free choice baking soda and minerals that were mixed especially for this area. Once a week, they get an herbal wormer I got from Fiasco Farm. Once that is out, I plan to make my own mix from a recipe a friend shared with me. I also want to substitute the soybean oil for something else as I am not a fan of soy and don’t want that in my goat milk.

They are not vaccinated. The breeder we use hasn’t vaccinated any of her herds in the last 30 years, and with good practices, I don’t think we will need to, either.

Here is another book I have gotten good information from (but, you know, like a bowl of cherries, you eat the good stuff and spit out the pits):

The poultry is next in line for a change. We are still feeding them layer feed which at this point is looking like compressed I-don’t-know-what. And that is the problem. Because the I-don’t-know-what ends up in our EGGS. Are we getting GMO corn? I bet we are! We have given up on using chicken and duck tractors (basically, movable coops) and these ladies (and three gentlemen) are SO happily free ranging. They eat up slugs, and keep the bug population way down. They scratch up all the weeds (yay!) and onion starts (boo!). They are a hoot to watch. The ducks travel as “one” each quackquackquacking behind another, and the hens have a seriously funny wiggle-dance they do with their backsides as they scratch and peck. Our very healthy and active dogs do a fabulous job of keeping raccoons, coyotes, and whatever else that’s hungry at bay. I can hardly believe the bald eagles have left us alone as well.

I will tell you that the grain that is left over from the goats, these poultry love! They will forgo their pellet feed every time for recognizable food, which I think further validates that their pellet feed is not good. I did find a recipe online for mixed chicken feed, but WOW, there were a lot of ingredients that even included amaranth and multi-colored lentils. Talk about million dollar hens! My first thought was that my Greek YaYa living in the village away from electricity, phones and running water certainly didn’t have pellet feed OR gourmet grains to feed her hens…but she had eggs!

By far the most amazing change has been with my calico cat. Our vet gave her a shot for her skin condition because she was so inflamed there, and prescribed antibiotics. Well, two days of throwing that up got old real quick, so we quit that. This cat was also regularly hacking up her food and hair balls. It was so frustrating! Off to the locally owned pet store I went to find help, thinking that once again I needed to try a different pet food.

Well! What do you know but that the owner was there and we had a lovely conversation about naturally rearing animals. I decided to forgo the high end kibble we were buying and instead got simple canned food that had nothing but fish, chicken, vegetables, and supplements in it. NO GRAIN.

And do you know what?! Her skin condition disappeared. She stopped hacking up. Even the black goop that I was regularly cleaning from her eyes stopped completely, which was a total surprise to me. And I know this will be hard to believe, but her litter box does NOT smell like it used to. This cat would do the deed and the smell would waft and cause numerous window sashes to fly open. Now I hardly notice if my daughter misses a few days of cleaning out the box. I know I am not imaging this because my husband is the one who pointed it out and he hates cat litter boxes. The box we use is just the cheapo $2 sort. But seriously, goodbye stinky cat poo.

I’m feeding my bees naturally, also. I started them off with sugar water made with sage tea, but it didn’t take too long before I removed it and made them go hunt their own food. Last year was my first year and we got a little bit of honey harvested! I’m not using conventional methods with regards to chemical controls, but am being mentored by an organic honeybee farmer on the uses of essential oils and other natural means of keeping my bees happy and healthy. I did not supplement with sugar water at all this winter, expecting them to use their own full honey supplies. We shall see how they are doing once the weather warms up.

Lastly, we keep rabbits as well. Currently we have havanas that we use for 4H and for show, but we are actively looking to begin raising angoras for fiber as well. Yes, we’ve had rabbit for supper–thankfully none of our own (it does taste just like chicken!), but we just are not interested in that part of animal husbandry. Our rabbits get hay, and also commercial rabbit pellets. I haven’t done any research on feeding them naturally yet, but I imagine they will get their turn as well.

We have definitely not “arrived” in these matters, but it has been good to consider such things and to research how to best care for these creatures. We are still learning.

I think I will leave comments open for this post in case you have any questions.

Blessings,

Barn Building

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PhotobucketWe’re currently building a small barn for our dairy goats. My husband has never built a barn before, but is doing very well using his knowledge of construction to make it happen. And me? I’ve never milked a goat in my life and although I’m enjoying the animals themselves (they’re so sweet!), my confidence isn’t exactly overwhelming.

So, one of my two kinders is due to kid (look at me, I’m using the lingo!) in about a week. I’m hoping for an easy, natural, “hey, baby goats just popped out!” kind of event. In the meantime, I’m gathering supplies, reading as much as I can, and trying to sift through all of the earnest and conflicting advice goat-people are sharing with me.

Sort of reminds me of having my first baby. I read all of the help books and sat, mostly politely, on the receiving end of lots of advice (sometimes veiled in stories of the worst possible outcomes that happened to “someone” that the advisor knew who did not follow the prescripted course of mothering). What I quickly found out was that in the day to day routines and minute by minute decisions it was just me figuring out how to be the Mommy. Thank God (and I do!) for His presence and help!

I learned most of what I now know through just being a mother, and I am still learning. I am learning to mother six children by having six children to mother. I am learning to keep a house by staying home to do it. I am learning to homeschool by assigning mathematics. I am learning to make really great pie crusts by baking lots of pies. Learning by doing. It’s not as safe as having every duck in a row before starting (and why do we think it would be easier if they were?), but the fruit is there. And it is mostly sweet.

So maybe this dairy goat adventure will work out fine. In the meantime, I need to go out and help paint the trim to the barn. Maybe if the surroundings are pretty, figuring out how to milk will be icing on the cake, and I too will be able to call myself a goat-person with advice of her own to give when the time is right. Like mothering, there is much to learn by simply jumping in.